登陆注册
20800800000017

第17章

A CHEERFUL TEMPER

From my father I received the best inheritance, namely a "good temper." "And who was my father?" That has nothing to do with the good temper; but I will say he was lively, good-looking round, and fat; he was both in appearance and character a complete contradiction to his profession. "And pray what was his profession and his standing in respectable society?" Well, perhaps, if in the beginning of a book these were written and printed, many, when they read it, would lay the book down and say, "It seems to me a very miserable title, I don't like things of this sort." And yet my father was not a skin-dresser nor an executioner; on the contrary, his employment placed him at the head of the grandest people of the town, and it was his place by right. He had to precede the bishop, and even the princes of the blood; he always went first,—he was a hearse driver! There, now, the truth is out. And I will own, that when people saw my father perched up in front of the omnibus of death, dressed in his long, wide, black cloak, and his black-edged, three-cornered hat on his head, and then glanced at his round, jocund face, round as the sun, they could not think much of sorrow or the grave. That face said, "It is nothing, it will all end better than people think." So I have inherited from him, not only my good temper, but a habit of going often to the churchyard, which is good, when done in a proper humor; and then also I take in the Intelligencer, just as he used to do.

I am not very young, I have neither wife nor children, nor a library, but, as I said, I read the Intelligencer, which is enough for me; it is to me a delightful paper, and so it was to my father. It is of great use, for it contains all that a man requires to know; the names of the preachers at the church, and the new books which are published; where houses, servants, clothes, and provisions may be obtained. And then what a number of subscriptions to charities, and what innocent verses! Persons seeking interviews and engagements, all so plainly and naturally stated. Certainly, a man who takes in the Intelligencer may live merrily and be buried contentedly, and by the end of his life will have such a capital stock of paper that he can lie on a soft bed of it, unless he prefers wood shavings for his resting-place. The newspaper and the churchyard were always exciting objects to me. My walks to the latter were like bathing-places to my good humor. Every one can read the newspaper for himself, but come with me to the churchyard while the sun shines and the trees are green, and let us wander among the graves. Each of them is like a closed book, with the back uppermost, on which we can read the title of what the book contains, but nothing more. I had a great deal of information from my father, and I have noticed a great deal myself. I keep it in my diary, in which I write for my own use and pleasure a history of all who lie here, and a few more beside.

Now we are in the churchyard. Here, behind the white iron railings, once a rose-tree grew; it is gone now, but a little bit of evergreen, from a neighboring grave, stretches out its green tendrils, and makes some appearance; there rests a very unhappy man, and yet while he lived he might be said to occupy a very good position. He had enough to live upon, and something to spare; but owing to his refined tastes the least thing in the world annoyed him. If he went to a theatre of an evening, instead of enjoying himself he would be quite annoyed if the machinist had put too strong a light into one side of the moon, or if the representations of the sky hung over the scenes when they ought to have hung behind them; or if a palm-tree was introduced into a scene representing the Zoological Gardens of Berlin, or a cactus in a view of Tyrol, or a beech-tree in the north of Norway. As if these things were of any consequence! Why did he not leave them alone? Who would trouble themselves about such trifles? especially at a comedy, where every one is expected to be amused. Then sometimes the public applauded too much, or too little, to please him. "They are like wet wood," he would say, looking round to see what sort of people were present, "this evening; nothing fires them." Then he would vex and fret himself because they did not laugh at the right time, or because they laughed in the wrong places; and so he fretted and worried himself till at last the unhappy man fretted himself into the grave.

Here rests a happy man, that is to say, a man of high birth and position, which was very lucky for him, otherwise he would have been scarcely worth notice. It is beautiful to observe how wisely nature orders these things. He walked about in a coat embroidered all over, and in the drawing-rooms of society looked just like one of those rich pearl-embroidered bell-pulls, which are only made for show; and behind them always hangs a good thick cord for use. This man also had a stout, useful substitute behind him, who did duty for him, and performed all his dirty work. And there are still, even now, these serviceable cords behind other embroidered bell-ropes. It is all so wisely arranged, that a man may well be in a good humor.

Here rests,—ah, it makes one feel mournful to think of him!—but here rests a man who, during sixty-seven years, was never remembered to have said a good thing; he lived only in the hope of having a good idea. At last he felt convinced, in his own mind, that he really had one, and was so delighted that he positively died of joy at the thought of having at last caught an idea. Nobody got anything by it; indeed, no one even heard what the good thing was. Now I can imagine that this same idea may prevent him from resting quietly in his grave; for suppose that to produce a good effect, it is necessary to bring out his new idea at breakfast, and that he can only make his appearance on earth at midnight, as ghosts are believed generally to do; why then this good idea would not suit the hour, and the man would have to carry it down again with him into the grave—that must be a troubled grave.

The woman who lies here was so remarkably stingy, that during her life she would get up in the night and mew, that her neighbors might think she kept a cat. What a miser she was!

Here rests a young lady, of a good family, who would always make her voice heard in society, and when she sang "Mi manca la voce,"[1] it was the only true thing she ever said in her life.

Here lies a maiden of another description. She was engaged to be married,—but, her story is one of every-day life; we will leave her to rest in the grave.

Here rests a widow, who, with music in her tongue, carried gall in her heart. She used to go round among the families near, and search out their faults, upon which she preyed with all the envy and malice of her nature. This is a family grave. The members of this family held so firmly together in their opinions, that they would believe in no other. If the newspapers, or even the whole world, said of a certain subject, "It is so-and-so;" and a little schoolboy declared he had learned quite differently, they would take his assertion as the only true one, because he belonged to the family. And it is well known that if the yard-cock belonging to this family happened to crow at midnight, they would declare it was morning, although the watchman and all the clocks in the town were proclaiming the hour of twelve at night.

The great poet Goethe concludes his Faust with the words, "may be continued;" so might our wanderings in the churchyard be continued. I come here often, and if any of my friends, or those who are not my friends, are too much for me, I go out and choose a plot of ground in which to bury him or her. Then I bury them, as it were; there they lie, dead and powerless, till they come back new and better characters. Their lives and their deeds, looked at after my own fashion, I write down in my diary, as every one ought to do. Then, if any of our friends act absurdly, no one need to be vexed about it. Let them bury the offenders out of sight, and keep their good temper. They can also read the Intelligencer, which is a paper written by the people, with their hands guided. When the time comes for the history of my life, to be bound by the grave, then they will write upon it as my epitaph—

"The man with a cheerful temper."

And this is my story.

同类推荐
  • The Fairy-Tale Detectives (Sisters Grimm #1)
  • The Rainbow Serpent (A Kulipari Novel #2)
  • Endgame

    Endgame

    Originally written in French and translated into English by Beckett, Endgame was given its first London performance at the Royal Court Theatre in 1957. HAMM: Clov! CLOV: Yes. HAMM: Nature has forgotten us. CLOV: There's no more nature. HAMM: No more nature! You exaggerate. CLOV: In the vicinity. HAMM: But we breathe, we change! We lose our hair our teeth! Our bloom! Our ideals! CLOV: Then she hasn't forgotten us.
  • Harold Pinter Plays 2

    Harold Pinter Plays 2

    The second volume of Harold Pinter's collected work includes The pgsk.com CaretakerIt was with this play that Harold Pinter had his first major success. The obsessive caretaker, Davies, is a classic comic creation, and his uneasy relationship with the enigmatic Aston and Mick a landmark in twentieth-century drama.'The play remains a masterpiece.' Daily Telegraph The Collection This one-act play for television explores the sexual manoeuvres between two couples in the clothing trade. 'Taps the adrenal flow of contemporary guilt and anxiety.' Time The Lover Richard and Sarah conduct themselves with apparent respectability in the mornings, whilst living out a sequence of erotic rituals in the afternoons. 'Beautifully written... the sexiest play I remember seeing on the television.' Sunday Times The volume also includes Night School and The Dwarfs, plus five revue sketches written during the same period.
  • Inspiration
热门推荐
  • 九级星辰诀

    九级星辰诀

    赵家少爷赵辰从小表现的修武天赋了得,然而三年始终无法踏入武者,逐渐沦为天星宗的笑话。三年时间里,赵辰没有放弃过修炼,三年努力,破茧成蝶,得九级星辰诀,走上一条武道巅峰之路。
  • 我家官总超有钱

    我家官总超有钱

    官尧臣是枚偏执霸道,富可敌国的高冷妖孽。迟欢欢这只水逆小可怜。自从被他独霸,强行触发了锦鲤模式。转发抽奖中了豪华别墅。随手还中了份神秘礼物!官太太的归属权。有效期限:终生!网友:黑幕!这绝对是黑幕!迟欢欢反手一个转发:别墅自留!在线拍卖官太太归属权。转发即可,一元起拍,价高者得!某妖孽:已婚,转发请慎重!!!配图是两本结婚证,持证人:官尧臣&迟欢欢。迟欢欢一脸问号:什么时候领的证???她怎么不知道!!!
  • 追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    青涩蜕变,如今她是能独当一面的女boss,爱了冷泽聿七年,也同样花了七年时间去忘记他。以为是陌路,他突然向他表白,扬言要娶她,她只当他是脑子抽风,他的殷勤她也全都无视。他帮她查她父母的死因,赶走身边情敌,解释当初拒绝她的告别,和故意对她冷漠都是无奈之举。突然爆出她父母的死居然和冷家有丝毫联系,还莫名跳出个公爵未婚夫,扬言要与她履行婚约。峰回路转,破镜还能重圆吗? PS:我又开新文了,每逢假期必书荒,新文《有你的世界遇到爱》,喜欢我的文的朋友可以来看看,这是重生类现言,对这个题材感兴趣的一定要收藏起来。
  • 完美系统之至尊巅峰

    完美系统之至尊巅峰

    废宅青年外出遭遇恐怖袭击而不幸身死,灵魂竟然携带完美系统穿越至众多平行世界之一的仙妖大陆,重活一世,他立志绝不再重蹈上一世的窝囊,这一世即便要面对无穷无尽的坎坷凶险,他也要活出自己不一样的人生!从此,赖小天在完美系统的帮助下走上了一条前无古人的巅峰之路。修炼境界:武道九重天、星窍境、魂海境、魂翼境、魂轮境、造化境、登仙境、天帝境、至尊境。
  • 坏皇后

    坏皇后

    她冷心冷情,从不懂爱情是何物,身边不乏几个对眼的床伴,但从来没有想过走进婚姻的殿堂,年近三十,终于在父亲临终遗言的要求下,答应嫁人,婚礼结束,她不过小憩片刻,却莫名来到一个历史上没有的时空,成为了东秦国的皇后。从此,皇后大变性------------精彩片段一:“住手!呦!姐姐这是在干什么?打狗还要看主人呢,刘嬷嬷尽心尽力的照顾小公主,她倒是犯了什么大逆不道的事情了让姐姐下这么狠的毒手?”青阅眼睛淡淡的扫了进来的女人一眼,懒得理她,对停下来的三个小太监道:“打够三十了?”小太监战战兢兢:“没,没呢。”“继续。”精彩片段二:“来人,陈谨之污蔑朕,辱骂皇后,拉去午门五马分尸,挫骨扬灰!其家人,诛九族!”“皇上,陈谨之对你可是忠心耿耿,你这样对待忠良,不怕天下百姓对你寒心,颠覆你的万里江山吗?”“如果我连自己心爱的女人都不能保护,还坐什么江山?青青,我爱你,不论任何人,胆敢伤害你,朕,定斩不饶!”--------------正规简介在这里:这就是一个不懂爱情的女人在懂得了爱情之后的有情与无情,爱人与被爱,接受与不接受的一首泣泣长歌。——————————【推荐区——完结文】草居涯《我们结婚吧》颖初《毒寵药妾》:---------------------【连载中】初行《逆仙》:桃花隐《妖妾》:
  • 红楼尘梦

    红楼尘梦

    ★佛说:姻缘前定,宿孽关情。★一块美玉,见证百年情缘;一株仙草,演出红尘故事;一个路者,救得一颗七窍心;一泓清水,饶得………★你道是阆苑仙葩,你道是美玉无瑕,都需看这女儿国中的神瑛使者同咱们同忆那看惯春月秋风的红楼尘梦。★潇湘妃子、绛珠仙草,红楼尘世。依然美的不可一世……她。既因为美丽而可爱,也因为可爱而美丽,更因为善良而美丽……★这一场尘梦,又岂止木石前盟那么简单,水木缘,金玉缘,缘来缘去,甄宝玉贾宝玉水澈水溶水洛水湛还有忠顺王甚至浩瀚国的蒙古国的铮铮铁骨,这些迷失在绛珠仙草美貌与善良下的灵魂,叫她不得不面对着国与家个人与黎民战争与和平时究竟该作何选择……★亲们快来收藏,话说此文貌似慢热,但是也许亲们以前读红楼的许多不解都会得到一个解释呢~呵呵拭目以待吧……第一卷:缘起第二卷:追本溯源演说水林第三卷:红楼八载风刀霜剑第四卷:缘去缘来谁慰黛心第五卷:有情人长相守第六卷:林梦儿的红楼百宝囊――――――――――林梦儿,初次撰文,未涉世事,愿用小女子最真诚的心,最美好天真的文字,重新温故那段永垂不朽的红楼尘梦……看不出色彩的书名,看不出感情的文字,我希望娓娓道来的可以是恩怨分明,可以是红尘最不俗的爱情,可以是幸福的纯真善良,是一段你我都希翼的美丽洒脱平淡欢乐……梦儿的群—65923346—红楼尘梦——敲门砖:红楼尘梦或者林梦儿喜欢的可以加偶,亲们的一些意见梦儿会考虑的……如果现在不行也还有以后呢……(*^__^*)嘻嘻……推荐梦儿自己的新文《冷月点颦玉生情》梦儿自己的完结文《红楼尘梦》梦儿自己的玄幻爱情《第一情狐》推荐好友菁菁苜蓿的完结文《红楼梦之潇湘妃子》——★★★★★—【推荐:脂砚斋出品的精彩美文】—★★★★★——《一梦潇湘冷清秋》瑾瑜地址:《挽红楼之玉亦狂》落花楼主地址:《穿越红楼之黛倾天下》雁无痕地址:《红楼尘梦》林梦儿地址:《红楼寻梦之情满潇湘》沧海明珠地址:《红楼之雍皇夺玉》曲阑地址:《情续红楼画眉蹙》梅灵地址:——★★★★★—【脂砚斋出品·绝不抄袭·绝对完文】—★★★★★——
  • 读书学习的故事(中华典故故事全集)

    读书学习的故事(中华典故故事全集)

    本套《中华典故故事全集》全部精选我国著名典故故事,并根据具体思想内涵进行相应归类,主要包括《爱国为民的故事》、《军事战争的故事》、《修身立世的故事》、《智慧谋略的故事》、《读书学习的故事》、《品质修养的故事》、《社会世情的故事》、《世事明察的故事》、《心灵情感的故事》和《悟道明理的故事》等十册,书中每个典故都包括诠释、出处和故事等内容,简单明了,短小精悍,具有很强的启迪性、智慧性和内涵性,非常适合青少年用于话题作文的论据,也对青少年的人生成长以及知识增长具有重要的作用,是青少年阅读和收藏的良好版本。
  • 武陵桃源

    武陵桃源

    远离尘世的脱俗地,没有烦恼的理想乡。在这乱世,流传着桃花源的故事。无数人疯狂的寻找,最终却都只是无果而归。只为了去逃离地狱般的现实。这世间真的存在世外桃源吗?还是只是一个美好的骗局?一代大侠费尽心机,闯进桃源,却带出一个伤痕累累的幼童。至此来揭开这一切。
  • 天生影帝

    天生影帝

    在表演的领域里,他的上帝只有他自己。他有独一无二的天赋。他不想成为流量明星,他只想成为传奇。百战军神,热血高中生,女装大佬,上帝式反派……无数经典角色出自苏洛。苏洛出品,必属精品。我,苏洛,咸…影帝!【苏洛开局是练习时长两年半靠天赋吃饭的非专业戏精,不过平时就是一条超级老咸鱼,懒得一批!】(欢迎来催更暴打作者,龙潭虎穴:866808842。)
  • 桃花梦

    桃花梦

    地在摇,房子也在摇,电视“嘭”地一声灭了,墙上的插座开始噼噼啪啪冒出火花。夏语冰第一反应是:地震了!他噌地从沙发上窜起来,冲到门外,冲下楼梯。刚刚站定,四周的楼房已开始坍塌。片刻之后,夏语冰在漫天尘土和遍地哀鸿中发现自己穿着背心短裤,正站在一株盛开的桃树旁。满树桃花妖冶多姿,丝毫不为所动地怒放着,没有一朵花、一片花瓣在这地动山摇中凋零陨落。“你说这个梦是不是有点诡异?”夏语冰问王成。他没说这个梦的结局。接下来他看到了桃树下还站着一个人,一个他认识然而并不十分熟悉的女人林小惠。