"'What this obdurate party from Dallas says," finally remarks Old Monroe, "is not with.out what the Comanches calls tum-tum.Thar's savey an' jestice in them observations.It's my idee, that thar bein' no jedge yere, that a-way, to make a money round-up for a gent when his debtor don't make good, is mighty likely a palin' offen our fence.I shorely thinks we better rectify them omissions an' 'lect a jedge at once.""'Which I'm opposed to these proceedin's," interrupts Cimmaron."I'm plumb adverse to co'ts.Them law-wolves gets into 'em, an' when they can't find no gate to come at you, they ups an' pushes down a panel of fence, an' lays for you, cross-lots.I'm dead ag'in these proceedin's.""'See yere," says Old Monroe, turnin' on this Cimmaron," you-all is becomin' too apparent in this camp; what I might describe as a heap too obvious.Now if you gets your stack in ag'in when it ain't your turn; or picks up anybody's hand but your own, I'll find a short way of knockin' your horns off.You don't seem gifted enough to realize that you're lucky to be alive right now.""'Bar Cimmaron, who lapses into silence after Old Monroe gives him notice, the entire camp lines up fav'rable on the idee to 'lect a jedge.They sends over to the corral an' gets a nose-bag for to deposit the votes; an' it's decided that Old Monroe an' a Cross-Zparty named Randall has got to do the runnin'.Randall is plenty p'lite, an' allows he don't want to be jedge none nohow, an' says, give it to Old Monroe; but the latter gent, who is organizin' the play, insists that it wouldn't be legal.
"'"Thar's got to be two gents to do the runnin'," so Old Monroe says, "or it don't go.The 'lection ain't legal that a-way onless thar's two candidates.""'They puts Bronco Charlie an' a sport named Ormsby in to be 'lection supervisors.They was to hold the nose-bag; an' as votes is dropped in, they's to count 'em out accordin' to Hoyle, so we-alls can tell where the play's headin'.Bronco Charlie is jedge for Randall, an' Ormsby fronts up all sim'lar for Old Monroe.The 'lection we-alls decides to hold in the Lone Star Saloon, so's to be conducted with comfort.
"'"Make your game, now, gents," says Old Monroe, when everythin' is shorely ready."Get in your votes.These yere polls is open for one hour.""'"One for Randall," says Bronco Charlie as Old Monroe votes.
"'"An' one for Old Monroe," remarks Ormsby when Randall votes next.
"'This gives the deal tone to have Randall an' Old Monroe p'int out by votin' for each other that a-way, and thar ain't one of us who don't feel more respectable by it.
"'It's the opinion of level-headed gents even yet, that the Plaza Paloduro could have pulled off this 'lection an' got plumb away, an'
never had no friction, if it ain't for a Greaser from San Antonio who tries to ring in on us.Thar's twenty-one of us has voted, an'
it stands nine for Randall an' twelve for Old Monroe; when up lopes this yere Mexican an' allows he's locoed to vote."'Who do you-all think you're goin' to vote for?" asks Ormsby.
"'"Senior Monroe," says the Mexican, p'intin' at Old Monroe.
"'Stop this deal," yells Bronco Charlie, "'I challenges that vote.
Mexicans is barred."
"'Which Mexicans is not barred," replies Ormsby."An' the vote of this yere enlightened maverick from south of the Rio Grande goes.
Thirteen for Old Monroe."
"'Twelve for Old Monroe," remonstrates Bronco Charlie, feelin' for his gun.
"'Thirteen for Old Monroe," retorts Ormsby, as his Colt's comes into action an' he busts Bronco's arm at the elbow.
"'As his obstinacy has destroyed the further efficiency of my colleague," goes on Ormsby, as he shakes down the ballots in the nose-bag, "I'll now conduct these yere polls alone.Gents who haven't voted will please come a-runnin'.As I states a moment ago, she stands thirteen for Old Monroe.""'An' I says she's twelve for Old Monroe," shouts Red River Tom, crowdin' for'ard."'You-all can't ring in Mexicans an' snake no play on us.This yere 'lection's goin' to be on the squar', or it's goin'
to come off in the smoke."
"'With this, Red River, who's been sorter domineerin' at Ormsby with his six-shooter while he's freein' his mind, slams her loose.Red River over-shoots, an' Ormsby downs him with a bullet in his laig.
"'Thirteen for Old Monroe," says Ormsby.
"'But that's where the 'lection ends.Followin' the subsidence of Red River Tom, the air is as full of lead as a bag of bullets.
Through the smoke, an' the flashes, an' the noise, you can hear Ormsby whoopin'
"'Thirteen for Old Monroe."
"'You can gamble Ormsby's as squar' a 'lection jedge as any gent could ask.You gets a play for your money with Ormsby; but he dies the next day, so he never is 'lection jedge no more.Five gents gets downed, an' a whole corralfull is hurt.I, myse'f, reaps some lead in the shoulder; an' even at that I never goes nearer than the suburbs of the fight.
"'No; Cimmaron Pete claws off all sound, an' no new holes in him.
But as the Dallas party, who comes caperin' over with the first shot, is layin' at the windup outside the Lone Star door, plumb defunct, thar's an end to the root of the disorder.
"'The 'lection itse'f is looked on as a draw.Old Monroe allows that, all things considered, he don't regard himse'f as 'lected none; and Randall, who a doctor is feelin' 'round in for a bullet at the time, sends over word that he indorses Old Monroe's p'sition;an' that as long as the Dallas sharp hits the trail after Glidden, an' is tharby able to look after his debts himse'f, he, Randall, holds it's no use disturbin' of a returned sereenity, an' to let everythin' go as it lays.
"'An' that,' concloods Texas Thompson, as he reaches for his licker, 'is what comes of an effort at law an' order in Plaza Paloduro.Iain't over-statin' it, gents, when I says, that that 'lection leaves me plumb gun-shy for over a year.'"
