`Why, that Mr Watkins, my dear,' said Mrs Nickleby slowly, as if she were making a tremendous effort to recollect something of paramount importance;`that Mr Watkins--he wasn't any relation, Miss Knag will understand, to the Watkins who kept the Old Boar in the village; by-the-bye, I don't remember whether it was the Old Boar or the George the Third, but it was one of the two, I know, and it's much the same--that Mr Watkins said, when you were only two years and a half old, that you were one of the most astonishing children he ever saw. He did indeed, Miss Knag, and he wasn't at all fond of children, and couldn't have had the slightest motive for doing it. Iknow it was he who said so, because I recollect, as well as if it was only yesterday, his borrowing twenty pounds of her poor dear papa the very moment afterwards.'
Having quoted this extraordinary and most disinterested testimony to her daughter's excellence, Mrs Nickleby stopped to breathe; and Miss Knag, finding that the discourse was turning upon family greatness, lost no time in striking in, with a small reminiscence on her own account.
`Don't talk of lending money, Mrs Nickleby,' said Miss Knag, `or you'll drive me crazy, perfectly crazy. My mamma--hem--was the most lovely and beautiful creature, with the most striking and exquisite--hem--the most exquisite nose that ever was put upon a human face, I do believe, Mrs Nickleby (here Miss Knag rubbed her own nose sympathetically); the most delightful and accomplished woman, perhaps, that ever was seen; but she had that one failing of lending money, and carried it to such an extent that she lent--hem--oh!
thousands of pounds, all our little fortunes, and what's more, Mrs Nickleby, I don't think, if we were to live till--till--hem--till the very end of time, that we should ever get them back again. I don't indeed.'
After concluding this effort of invention without being interrupted, Miss Knag fell into many more recollections, no less interesting than true, the full tide of which, Mrs Nickleby in vain attempting to stem, at length sailed smoothly down by adding an under-current of her own recollections;and so both ladies went on talking together in perfect contentment; the only difference between them being, that whereas Miss Knag addressed herself to Kate, and talked very loud, Mrs Nickleby kept on in one unbroken monotonous flow, perfectly satisfied to be talking and caring very little whether anybody listened or not.
In this manner they walked on, very amicably, until they arrived at Miss Knag's brother's, who was an ornamental stationer and small circulating library keeper, in a by-street off Tottenham Court Road; and who let out by the day, week, month, or year, the newest old novels, whereof the titles were displayed in pen-and-ink characters on a sheet of pasteboard, swinging at his door-post. As Miss Knag happened, at the moment, to be in the middle of an account of her twenty-second offer from a gentleman of large property, she insisted upon their all going in to supper together; and in they went.
`Don't go away, Mortimer,' said Miss Knag as they entered the shop.
`It's only one of our young ladies and her mother. Mrs and Miss Nickleby.'
`Oh, indeed!' said Mr Mortimer Knag. `Ah!'
Having given utterance to these ejaculations with a very profound and thoughtful air, Mr Knag slowly snuffed two kitchen candles on the counter, and two more in the window, and then snuffed himself from a box in his waistcoat pocket.
There was something very impressive in the ghostly air with which all this was done; and as Mr Knag was a tall lank gentleman of solemn features, wearing spectacles, and garnished with much less hair than a gentleman bordering on forty, or thereabouts, usually boasts, Mrs Nickleby whispered her daughter that she thought he must be literary.
`Past ten,' said Mr Knag, consulting his watch. `Thomas, close the warehouse.'
Thomas was a boy nearly half as tall as a shutter, and the warehouse was a shop about the size of three hackney coaches.
`Ah!' said Mr Knag once more, heaving a deep sigh as he restored to its parent shelf the book he had been reading. `Well--yes--I believe supper is ready, sister.'
With another sigh Mr Knag took up the kitchen candles from the counter, and preceded the ladies with mournful steps to a back-parlour, where a charwoman, employed in the absence of the sick servant, and remunerated with certain eighteenpences to be deducted from her wages due, was putting the supper out.
`Mrs Blockson,' said Miss Knag, reproachfully, `how very often I have begged you not to come into the room with your bonnet on!'
`I can't help it, Miss Knag,' said the charwoman, bridling up on the shortest notice. `There's been a deal o'cleaning to do in this house, and if you don't like it, I must trouble you to look out for somebody else, for it don't hardly pay me, and that's the truth, if I was to be hung this minute.'
`I don't want any remarks if you please,' said Miss Knag, with a strong emphasis on the personal pronoun. `Is there any fire downstairs for some hot water presently?'
`No there is not, indeed, Miss Knag,' replied the substitute; `and so I won't tell you no stories about it.'
`Then why isn't there?' said Miss Knag.
`Because there arn't no coals left out, and if I could make coals Iwould, but as I can't I won't, and so I make bold to tell you, Mem,' replied Mrs Blockson.
`Will you hold your tongue--female?' said Mr Mortimer Knag, plunging violently into this dialogue.
`By your leave, Mr Knag,' retorted the charwoman, turning sharp round.
`I'm only too glad not to speak in this house, excepting when and where I'm spoke to, sir; and with regard to being a female, sir, I should wish to know what you considered yourself?'
`A miserable wretch,' exclaimed Mr Knag, striking his forehead. `A miserable wretch.'
