登陆注册
5367000000011

第11章 A CAUTION TO TRAVELLERS(5)

"If Mrs.Pogson heard of this," said I, "what would become of the 'Three Tuns?'" (for I wished to give him a lesson)."If your Ma, who took you every Sunday to meeting, should know that her boy was paying attention to married women;--if Drench, Glauber and Co., your employers, were to know that their confidential agent was a gambler, and unfit to be trusted with their money, how long do you think your connection would last with them, and who would afterwards employ you?"To this poor Pog had not a word of answer; but sat on his sofa whimpering so bitterly, that the sternest of moralists would have relented towards him, and would have been touched by the little wretch's tears.Everything, too, must be pleaded in excuse for this unfortunate bagman: who, if he wished to pass for a captain, had only done so because he had an intense respect and longing for rank: if he had made love to the Baroness, had only done so because he was given to understand by Lord Byron's "Don Juan" that making love was a very correct, natty thing: and if he had gambled, had only been induced to do so by the bright eyes and example of the Baron and the Baroness.O ye Barons and Baronesses of England! if ye knew what a number of small commoners are daily occupied in studying your lives, and imitating your aristocratic ways, how careful would ye be of your morals, manners, and conversation!

My soul was filled, then, with a gentle yearning pity for Pogson, and revolved many plans for his rescue: none of these seeming to be practicable, at last we hit on the very wisest of all, and determined to apply for counsel to no less a person than Major British.

A blessing it is to be acquainted with my worthy friend, little Major British; and heaven, sure, it was that put the Major into my head, when I heard of this awkward scrape of poor Fog's.The Major is on half-pay, and occupies a modest apartment au quatrieme, in the very hotel which Pogson had patronized at my suggestion;indeed, I had chosen it from Major British's own peculiar recommendation.

There is no better guide to follow than such a character as the honest Major, of whom there are many likenesses now scattered over the Continent of Europe: men who love to live well, and are forced to live cheaply, and who find the English abroad a thousand times easier, merrier, and more hospitable than the same persons at home.

I, for my part, never landed on Calais pier without feeling that a load of sorrows was left on the other side of the water; and have always fancied that black care stepped on board the steamer, along with the custom-house officers at Gravesend, and accompanied one to yonder black louring towers of London--so busy, so dismal, and so vast.

British would have cut any foreigner's throat who ventured to say so much, but entertained, no doubt, private sentiments of this nature; for he passed eight months of the year, regularly, abroad, with headquarters at Paris (the garrets before alluded to), and only went to England for the month's shooting, on the grounds of his old colonel, now an old lord, of whose acquaintance the Major was passably inclined to boast.

He loved and respected, like a good staunch Tory as he is, every one of the English nobility; gave himself certain little airs of a man of fashion, that were by no means disagreeable; and was, indeed, kindly regarded by such English aristocracy as he met, in his little annual tours among the German courts, in Italy or in Paris, where he never missed an ambassador's night: he retailed to us, who didn't go, but were delighted to know all that had taken place, accurate accounts of the dishes, the dresses, and the scandal which had there fallen under his observation.

He is, moreover, one of the most useful persons in society that can possibly be; for besides being incorrigibly duelsome on his own account, he is, for others, the most acute and peaceable counsellor in the world, and has carried more friends through scrapes and prevented more deaths than any member of the Humane Society.

British never bought a single step in the army, as is well known.

In '14 he killed a celebrated French fire-eater,, who had slain a young friend of his, and living, as he does, a great deal with young men of pleasure, and good old sober family people, he is loved by them both and has as welcome a place made for him at a roaring bachelor's supper at the "Cafe Anglais," as at a staid dowager's dinner-table in the Faubourg St.Honore.Such pleasant old boys are very profitable acquaintances, let me tell you; and lucky is the young man who has one or two such friends in his list.

Hurrying on Fogson in his dress, I conducted him, panting, up to the Major's quatrieme, where we were cheerfully bidden to come in.

The little gentleman was in his travelling jacket, and occupied in painting, elegantly, one of those natty pairs of boots in which he daily promenaded the Boulevards.A couple of pairs of tough buff gloves had been undergoing some pipe-claying operation under his hands; no man stepped out so spick and span, with a hat so nicely brushed, with a stiff cravat tied so neatly under a fat little red face, with a blue frock-coat so scrupulously fitted to a punchy little person, as Major British, about whom we have written these two pages.He stared rather hardly at my companion, but gave me a kind shake of the hand, and we proceeded at once to business.

"Major British," said I, "we want your advice in regard to an unpleasant affair which has just occurred to my friend Pogson.""Pogson, take a chair."

"You must know, sir, that Mr.Pogson, coming from Calais the other day, encountered, in the diligence, a very handsome woman."British winked at Pogson, who, wretched as he was, could not help feeling pleased.

"Mr.Pogson was not more pleased with this lovely creature than was she with him; for, it appears, she gave him her card, invited him to her house, where he has been constantly, and has been received with much kindness.""I see," says British.

同类推荐
  • 白朴元曲集

    白朴元曲集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 蜀记

    蜀记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 高斋诗话

    高斋诗话

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 烈皇小识

    烈皇小识

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 牡丹二首

    牡丹二首

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
热门推荐
  • 把硫酸倒进去

    把硫酸倒进去

    那时候还没有微博微信什么的,也没有那么多的手机照片和举报。那时候吃啊喝啊不算个大事,客人到了桌边,桌上摆个一瓶两瓶,那是起码的。那时候餐桌上流行酒段子,掺和着各种黄段子,吃起来大家哈哈哈哈,有荤有素,五味杂陈。可是那时候迟可东已经不喝酒了,几乎是滴酒不沾。倒不是人家先知先觉,只因为他天生的酒精过敏,喝酒对他有如受刑。迟可东虽然自己不喝,却也入乡随俗,该摆酒就摆酒,该举杯就举杯,让别人喝,他自己做个样子。如果他不仅做个样子,还认真起来,那千万得小心,他会让这个灌那个,要那个灌这个,搞得一桌很热闹。
  • 倒霉神探系列:南极神兵

    倒霉神探系列:南极神兵

    一个尘封已久的英雄故事,骤然变成在网路上的诡异传说,在人们半信半疑,议论纷纷,似乎即将掀起人类一贯的、探求真相的蠢动之际,所有有关的资料信息竟在瞬间神秘消失,仿如不曾存在过一样。依稀间人们只有一个似通非通的名字还潜藏在脑海——红骨……
  • 听说你来找过我

    听说你来找过我

    我第一次见到深蓝是在九月。确切地说,是九月的第一个星期三下午。我们刚刚结束漫长的暑期回到学校,开始研究生阶段最后一年的学习和生活。但这并不是故事的开始。如你所知,一个故事之所以成其为故事,是因为它同别的故事之间有着盘根错节、千丝万缕的联系。从这个意义上说,所有故事都不存在开始。因为没人能够厘清与之关联的那个源故事。因此我在这里讲述的,亦不过只是故事中一些鸡零狗碎,掐头去尾的片段罢了。而事实上也确实如此。
  • 追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    青涩蜕变,如今她是能独当一面的女boss,爱了冷泽聿七年,也同样花了七年时间去忘记他。以为是陌路,他突然向他表白,扬言要娶她,她只当他是脑子抽风,他的殷勤她也全都无视。他帮她查她父母的死因,赶走身边情敌,解释当初拒绝她的告别,和故意对她冷漠都是无奈之举。突然爆出她父母的死居然和冷家有丝毫联系,还莫名跳出个公爵未婚夫,扬言要与她履行婚约。峰回路转,破镜还能重圆吗? PS:我又开新文了,每逢假期必书荒,新文《有你的世界遇到爱》,喜欢我的文的朋友可以来看看,这是重生类现言,对这个题材感兴趣的一定要收藏起来。
  • 皇后授受不亲(全本)

    皇后授受不亲(全本)

    一次穿越,将她带回历史上没有出现过的古国,女扮男装,混迹江湖一次偶然,他与她义结金兰,他以为她是男儿之身,却仍然梦牵魂绕她是皇后,倾国倾城,对皇上用情至深,却因为是太后指婚而孤苦伶仃他是皇帝,玉树临风,至高无上,却爱上自己的臣子——义结金兰的兄弟他是神秘的公子,整日遮面,却也是令后宫妃子嫉妒的谣言中的“皇帝的男宠”,为此,他甚至历尽人间冷暖他待人不假颜色,带领内廷侍卫,却在暗中对他青睐有加,甚至愿意自降品级随他一起边关就任新文:http://m.pgsk.com/a/119768/(bl小白)
  • 顶级大佬又掉马了

    顶级大佬又掉马了

    [1v1][女扮男装]七班叶昭,各科均分不过30,不学无术,是个实实在在的大纨绔。所有人都是这么认为的。之后的事情就变的玄幻了——刚开始是娱乐圈知名大导演点名要人;再是竞赛以压倒式胜利;就连商业大佬都对她和和气气。……全校同学都恍惚:擦,原来是王者。
  • 皮影皮影活起来

    皮影皮影活起来

    夜幕中,奶奶看到我爷爷驾着金碧辉煌的马车朝她驶来,他欢快地唱着。我们家戏箱里的众天官都簇拥在马车旁迎接我奶奶。奶奶现在急着要告诉我爷爷:他的皮影要唱到省城去了。秉浩是个好接班人。比他强多了。奶奶脸上淌着笑。
  • 红颜怒之女帝传

    红颜怒之女帝传

    君曾言“迟暮枯骨皆做陪”!我亦倾心“凤冠霞帔为君着”!亲人逝,挚爱亡,屋漏又缝连夜雨,蛇蝎美人毁其容,!恨悲欢,叹离别,两行清泪,何日君再来!红颜殇,风波起,鲜衣怒马江湖路,娇羞身姿战苍穹!一朝风云裂变,凤鸣九天谁与争锋!
  • 靠游戏活着的日子

    靠游戏活着的日子

    2220年,Z病毒爆发;人类研制出可抑制Z病毒的药物锗烯,成为了世界通用的货币;随着锗烯原材料的不断减少,其稀有度急剧增加,越来越多的人因为缺少锗烯而死亡;X公司横空出世,宣传一部名为《生死抉择》的神秘游戏,玩家可以在游戏中获得大量锗烯;一时间,X公司热度席卷全球。为了活下去,贫民区少年横闯游戏世界,这一次,又是哪一个世界?
  • 追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    追妻无门:女boss不好惹

    青涩蜕变,如今她是能独当一面的女boss,爱了冷泽聿七年,也同样花了七年时间去忘记他。以为是陌路,他突然向他表白,扬言要娶她,她只当他是脑子抽风,他的殷勤她也全都无视。他帮她查她父母的死因,赶走身边情敌,解释当初拒绝她的告别,和故意对她冷漠都是无奈之举。突然爆出她父母的死居然和冷家有丝毫联系,还莫名跳出个公爵未婚夫,扬言要与她履行婚约。峰回路转,破镜还能重圆吗? PS:我又开新文了,每逢假期必书荒,新文《有你的世界遇到爱》,喜欢我的文的朋友可以来看看,这是重生类现言,对这个题材感兴趣的一定要收藏起来。