MONKEY, having returned in triumph, after slaying the Demon of Havoc and snatching the demon's huge cutlass, practised sword-play every day and taught the small monkeys how to sharpen bamboos with spears, make wooden swords, and banners to carry; how to go on patrol, advance and retreat, pitch camp, build stockades, and so on. They had great fun doing this; but suddenly, sitting in a quiet place, Monkey thought to himself, 'All this is only a game; but the consequences of it may be serious. Suppose some human king or king of birds or beasts should hear what we are at, he may very well think that we are hatching a conspiracy against him and bring his armies to attack us. Bamboo spears and wooden swords wouldn't help you much then. You ought to have real swords and lances and halberds. How are we to get hold of them?' 'That's an excellent idea,' they said, 'but there's nowhere we can possibly get them from.'
At this point four old monkeys came forward, two red-bottomed horse-apes and two tailless apes with plain behinds. 'Great king,' they said, 'if you want to get weapons made, nothing could be easier.' 'Why do you think it so easy?' asked Monkey. 'East of our mountains,' they said, 'there are two hundred leagues of water. That is the frontier of Ao-lai, and at that frontier there is a king whose city is full of soldiers. He must certainly have metal-works of all sorts. If you go there, you can certainly buy weapons or get them made for you. Then you can teach us to use them, and we shall be able to defend ourselves. That is the way to protect us against extinction.' Monkey was delighted with this idea. 'You stay here and amuse yourselves,' he said, 'while I go off and see what can be done.'
Dear Monkey! He set out on his cloud-trapeze, and in a twinkling he had crossed those two hundred leagues of water, and on the other side there was indeed a city with walls and moat, with wards and markets, and myriad streets where men walked up and down in the happy sunshine. He thought to himself, 'In such a place there are sure to be ready-made weapons. I'll go down and buy some. Or better still, I'll get some by magic.' He made a magic pass, recited a spell and drew a magic diagram on the ground. He then stood in the middle of it, drew a long breath and expelled it with such force that sand and stones hurtled through the air. This tempest so much alarmed the king of the country and all his subjects that they locked themselves indoors. Monkey lowered his cloud, made straight for the government buildings, and soon finding the arsenal he forced open the door, and saw a vast supply of swords, lances, scimitars, halberds, axes, scythes, whips, rakes, cudgels, bows and crossbows-every conceivable weapon. 'That's rather more than I can carry,' he said to himself. So, as before, he changed his hairs into thousands of small monkeys, who began snatching at the weapons. Some managed to carry six or seven, others three or four, till soon the arsenal was bare. Then a great gale of magic wind carried them back to the cave. The monkeys at home were playing in front of the cave door, when suddenly they saw a great swarm of monkeys in the sky above, which scared them so much that they all rushed into hiding. Soon Monkey lowered his cloud and turned the thousands of little monkeys into hairs. He stacked the weapons on the hillside and cried, 'Little ones, all come and get your arms!' To their astonishment they found Monkey standing all alone on the ground. They rushed forward to pay homage, and Monkey explained to them what had happened. When they had congratulated him on his performance, they all began to grab at swords and cutlasses, pick up axes, scramble for spears, drag off bows and crossbows. This sport, which was a very noisy one, lasted all day.
Next day they came on parade as usual, and the roll-call disclosed that they numbered forty-seven thousand in all. All the wild beasts of the mountain and demon kings of every kind, denizens of no less than seventy-two caves, came to pay homage to Monkey, and henceforward brought tribute every year and signed on once in every season. Some supplied labour and some provisions. The Mountain of Flowers and Fruit became as strong as an iron bucket or wall of bronze. The demon kings of various districts also presented bronze drums, coloured banners, helmets and coats of mail. Day after day there was a tremendous bustle of drilling and marching. Everything was going well, when suddenly one day Monkey said to his subjects, 'You seem to be getting on well with your drill, but I find my sword very cumbersome, in fact not at all to my liking. What is to be done?' The four old monkeys came forward and said, 'Great King, it is quite natural that you, being an Immortal, should not care to use this earthly weapon. Do you think it would be possible for you to get one from the denizens of the sea?' 'Why not, pray?' said Monkey. 'Since my Illumination I have mastery of seventy-two transformations; greatest wonder of all, I can ride upon the clouds. I can become invisible, I can penetrate bronze and stone. Water cannot drown me, any more than fire can burn me. What's to prevent me getting a weapon from the Powers of the Sea?' 'Well, if you can manage it,' they said. 'The water that flows under this iron bridge comes up from the palace of the dragon of the Eastern Sea. How about going down and paying a call upon the dragon-king? If you asked him for a weapon he would no doubt be able to find you something suitable.' 'I'll certainly go,' said Monkey. He went to the bridge-head, recited a spell to protect himself from the effects of water, and jumped in, making his way along the water-course till he came to the bottom of the Eastern Sea. Presently he was stopped by a Yaksha who was patrolling the waters. 'What deity is that,' he asked, 'pushing along through the water? Give me an account of yourself and I will announce your arrival.' 'I am the monkey-king of the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit,' said Monkey. 'I am a near neighbour of the Dragon King, and consider that I ought to make his acquaintance.' The Yaksha brought in the message, and the Dragon King rose hastily and came to the door of his palace, bringing with him his dragon children and grandchildren, his shrimp soldiers and crab generals. 'Come in, High Immortal, come in,' he said. They went into the palace and sat face to face on the upper seat. When they had taken tea, the dragon asked, 'How long, pray, have you been Illumined, and what magic arts have you learned?' 'I have led a religious life since my infancy,' said Monkey, 'and am now beyond birth and destruction. Recently I have been training my subjects how to defend their home; but I myself have no suitable weapon. I am told that my honoured neighbour within the shell-portals of his green jade palace certainly has many magic weapons to spare.' The Dragon King did not like to refuse, and ordered a trout-captain to bring out a huge sword. 'I'm no good with a sword,' said Monkey. 'Can't you find something else?' The Dragon King then told a whitebait-guardsman with the help of an eel-porter to bring out a nine-pronged fork. Monkey took hold of it and tried a few thrusts. 'It's much too light,' he said. 'And it does not suit my hand. Can't you find me something else?' 'I really don't know what you mean,' said the Dragon King. 'The fork weighs three thousand six hundred pounds.' 'It doesn't suit my hand,' said Monkey, 'it doesn't suit my hand.' The Dragon King was much upset, and ordered a bream-general and a carp-brigadier to bring out a huge halberd, weighing seven thousand two hundred pounds. Monkey seized it and after making a few thrusts and parries tossed it away saying, 'Still too light!' 'It's the heaviest weapon we've got in the palace,' said the Dragon King. 'I have nothing else I can show you.' 'The proverb says "It's no use the Dragon King pretending he's got no treasures,"' said Monkey. 'Just look again, and if you succeed in finding something suitable, I'll give you a good price.' 'I warn you I haven't got anything else,' said the Dragon King.
At this point the Dragon Mother and her daughter slipped out from the back rooms of the palace and said, 'Great King, we can see that this Monkey Sage is of no common capacities. In our treasury is the magic iron with which the bed of the Milky Way was pounded flat. For several days past it has been glowing with a strange light. Was this not perhaps an omen that it should be given to the Sage who has just arrived?' 'This,' said the Dragon King, 'is the thing that was used by the Great Yü, when he subdued the Flood, to fix the depth of the rivers and seas. It's only a piece of holy iron. What use could it be to him?' 'Don't worry about whether he uses it or not,' said the Dragon Mother. 'Just give it to him, and if he can cope with it, let him take it away with him.'
The Dragon King agreed, and told Monkey. 'Bring it to me and I'll have a look at it,' said Monkey. 'Out of the question!' said the Dragon King. 'It's too heavy to move. You'll have to go and look at it.' 'Where is it?' asked Monkey. 'Show me the way.'
The Dragon King accordingly brought him to the Sea Treasury, where he at once saw something shining with innumerable beams of golden light. 'There it is,' said the Dragon King. Monkey respectfully tidied himself and approached the object. It turned out to be a thick iron pillar, about twenty feet long. Monkey took one end in both hands and raised it a little. 'A trifle too long and too thick!' he said. The pillar at once became several feet shorter and one layer thinner. Monkey felt it. 'A little smaller still wouldn't do any harm,' he said. The pillar at once shrunk again, Monkey was delighted. Taking it out into the daylight he found that at each end was a golden clasp, while in between all was black iron. On the near end was the inscription 'Golden Clasped Wishing Staff. Weight, thirteen thousand five hundred pounds.' 'Splendid!' thought Monkey. 'One couldn't wish for a better treasure than this.' But as he went along, he thought to himself, fingering the staff, 'If only it were a little smaller, it would be marvellous.' And sure enough, by the time he got outside it was not much more than two feet long. Look at him, how he displays its magic, making sudden thrusts and passes on his way back to the palace. The Dragon King trembled at the sight, and the Dragon Princes were all in a flutter. Tortoises and turtles drew in their heads; fishes, crabs and shrimps all hid themselves away. Monkey, with the treasure in his hand, sat down by the Dragon King. 'I am deeply grateful for my honoured neighbour's kindness,' he said. 'Pray don't mention it,' said the Dragon King. 'Yes, it's a useful bit of iron,' said Monkey, but there is just one more thing I should like to say.' 'Great Immortal,' said the Dragon King, 'what else have you to say?' 'Before I had this iron,' said Monkey, 'it was another matter, but with a thing like this in my hand, I begin to feel the lack of anything suitable to wear with it. If you have got anything in that line, please let me have it. I should really be grateful.' 'I have nothing at all,' said the Dragon King. 'You know the old saying,' said Monkey, '"one guest should not trouble two hosts." You won't get rid of me by pretending you haven't got any.' 'You might try another sea,' said the Dragon King, 'it's just possible they would be able to help you.' '"Better sit in one house than run to three,"' said Monkey. 'I insist on your finding me something.' 'I assure you I don't possess anything of that sort,' said the Dragon King. 'If I did you should have it.' 'All right,' said Monkey. 'I'll try my iron on you, and we shall soon see whether you can give me one.' 'Steady, steady, Great Immortal,' said the Dragon King. 'Don't strike! Just let me find out whether my brothers haven't got anything that you could have.' 'Where do they live?' asked Monkey. 'They are the dragons of the southern, northern and western seas,' said the Dragon King. 'I am not going as far as that,' said Monkey. '"Two in hand is better than three in bond." You must find me something here and now. I don't mind where you get it from.' 'I never suggested that you should go,' said the Dragon King. 'We've got an iron drum and a bronze gong here. If anything important happens, I have them sounded, and my brothers come immediately.' 'Very well,' said Monkey. 'Look sharp and sound the drum and gong.' A crocodile accordingly beat the drum and a turtle sounded the gong, and in a twinkling the three dragons arrived. 'Brother,' said the Dragon of the South, 'what urgent business has made you beat the drum and sound the gong?' 'You may well ask,' said the Dragon King. 'A neighbour of mine, the Sage of the Mountain of Flowers and Fruit, came to me to-day asking for a magic weapon. I gave him the iron with which the Milky Way was pounded. Now he says he must have clothes. We have nothing of that sort here. Couldn't one of you find me something, so that we can get rid of him?' The Dragon of the South was furious. 'Brothers,' he cried, 'let us summon men-at-arms and arrest the rascal.' 'Out of the question!' said the Dragon King. 'The slightest touch of that iron is deadly.' 'It would be better not to tamper with him,' said the Dragon of the West. 'We'll give him some clothes, just to get rid of him, and then we'll complain to Heaven, and Heaven will punish him.' 'That's a good idea,' said the Dragon of the North. 'I've got a pair of cloud-stepping shoes made of lotus-fibre.' 'I've got a cap of phoenix-plume and red gold,' said the Dragon of the South. 'I've got a jerkin of chain-mail, made of yellow gold,' said the Dragon of the West. The Dragon King was delighted and brought them in to see Monkey and offer their gifts. Monkey put the things on and, with his wishing-staff in his hand, strode out. 'Dirty old sneaks,' he called out to the dragons as he passed. In great indignation they consulted together about reporting him to the powers above.
The four old monkeys and all the rest were waiting for their king beside the bridge. Suddenly they saw him spring out of the waves, without a drop of water on him, all shining and golden, and run up the bridge. They all knelt down, crying 'Great King, what splendours!' With the spring wind full in his face, Monkey mounted the throne and set up the iron staff in front of him. The monkeys all rushed at the treasure and tried to lift it. As well might a dragon-fly try to shake an ironwood-tree; they could not move it an inch. 'Father,' they cried, 'you're the only person that could lift a thing as heavy as that.' 'There's nothing but has its master,' said Monkey, lifting it with one hand. 'This iron lay in the Sea Treasury for I don't know how many hundred thousand years, and only recently began to shine. The Dragon King thought it was nothing but black iron and said it was used to flatten out the Milky Way. None of them could lift it, and they asked me to go and take it myself. When I first saw it, it was twenty feet long. I thought that was a bit too big, so I gradually made it smaller and smaller. Now just you watch while I change it again.' He cried 'Smaller, smaller, smaller!' and immediately it became exactly like an embroidery needle, and could comfortably be worn behind the ear.
'Take it out and do another trick with it,' the monkeys begged. He took it from behind his ear and set it upright on the palm of his hand, crying 'Larger, larger!' It at once became twenty feet long, whereupon he carried it up on to the bridge, employed a cosmic magic, and bent at the waist, crying 'Tall!' At which he at once became a hundred thousand feet high, his head was on a level with the highest mountains, his waist with the ridges, his eye blazed like lightning, his mouth was like a blood-bowl, his teeth like sword-blades. The iron staff in his hand reached up to the thirty-third Heaven, and down to the eighteenth pit of Hell. Tigers, panthers, wolves, all the evil spirits of the hill and the demons of the seventy-two caves did homage to him in awe and trembling. Presently he withdrew his cosmic manifestation, and the staff again became an embroidery needle. He put it behind his ear and came back to the cave.
One day when Monkey had been giving a great banquet to the beast-monarchs of the neighbourhood, after seeing them off and giving presents to the leaders great and small, he lay down under a pine-tree at the side of the iron bridge, and fell asleep. In his sleep he saw two men coming towards him, bearing a document on which was his name. Without giving him time to say a word, they brought out a rope and binding Monkey's dream-body, they marched him away, presently bringing him to the outskirts of a walled city. Coming to himself and looking up, he saw that on the wall of this city was an iron placard saying 'Land of Darkness.' 'Why,' said Monkey to himself, suddenly realizing with an unpleasant shock where he had got to, 'that's where Yama, the King of Death, lives. How did I get here?' 'Your time in the World of Life is up,' said the two men, 'and we were sent to arrest you' 'But I have got beyond all that,' said Monkey. 'I am no longer compounded of the Five Elements, and do not come under Death's jurisdiction. What's all this nonsense about arresting me?' The two men took no notice, and continued to drag him along. Monkey now became very angry, snatched the needle from behind his ear, changed it to a formidable size, and pounded the two messangers into mincemeat. Then he freed himself from his bonds, and swinging his staff strode into the city. Bull-headed demons and horse-faced demons fled before him in terror. A mass of ghosts rushed to the palace, announcing that a furry-faced thunder-god was advancing to the attack. In great consternation the Ten Judges of the Dead tidied themselves and came to see what was afoot. Seeing Monkey's ferocious appearance, they lined up and accosted him in a loud voice: 'Your name, please!' 'If you don't know who I am, why did you send two men to arrest me?' asked Monkey. 'How can you accuse us of such a thing?' they said. 'No doubt the messengers made a mistake.' 'I am the Sage from the Water-curtain Cave,' said Monkey. 'Who are you?' 'We are the Ten Judges of the Emperor of Death,' they said. 'In that case,' said Monkey, 'you are concerned with retribution and rewards, and ought not to let such mistakes occur. I would have you know that by my exertions I have become an Immortal and am no longer subject to your jurisdiction. Why did you order my arrest?' 'There's no need to lose your temper,' they said. 'It's a case of mistaken identity. The world is a big place, and there are bound to be cases of several people having the same name. No doubt our officers have made a mistake.' 'Nonsense,' said Monkey. 'The proverb says "Magistrates err, clerks err, the man with the warrant never errs." Be quick and bring out the registers of the quick and the dead, and we'll soon see!' 'Come this way, please,' they said, and took him to the great hall, where they ordered the official in charge of the record to bring out his files. The official dived into a side room and came out with five or six ledgers, divided into ten files and began going through them one by one-Bald Insects, Furry Insects, Winged Insects, Scaly Insects…He gave up in despair and tried Monkeys. But the Monkey King, having human characteristics, was not there. Not however being subject to the unicorn, he did not come into any animal category, and as he was not subject to the phoenix, he could not be classed as a bird. But there was a separate file which Monkey insisted on examining himself, and there, under the heading 'Soul 3150,' he found his own name, followed by the words 'Parentage: natural product. Description: Stone Monkey. Life-span: 342 years. A peaceful end.' 'I haven't got a life-span at all,' said Monkey. 'I'm eternal. I shall cross my name out. Give me a brush!' The official hastened to provide a brush, soaked in heavy ink, and Monkey put a stroke not only through his own name, but through those of all the monkeys named in the Monkey File. Then throwing down the ledger, 'There's an end of the matter,' he exclaimed. 'Now at any rate you've got no hold over us!'
So saying he picked up his staff and forced his way out of the Palace of Darkness. The Ten Judges dared not protest; but all went off at once to the Kshitigarbha, Guide of the Dead, and discussed with him the advisability of laying a complaint about the matter before the Jade Emperor in Heaven. As Monkey rushed naked out of the city, his foot caught in a coil of creeper and he stumbled. He woke with a start, and found that it had all been a dream. Sitting up, he heard the four old monkeys and the others who were mounting guard over him saying, 'Great King, isn't it time you woke up? You drank so heavily that you've been sleeping here all night.' 'I must have dozed off for a time,' said Monkey, 'for I dreamt that two men came to arrest me.' And he told them his dream. 'I crossed off all our names,' he said, 'so the fellows won't be able to interfere with us any more.' The monkeys kowtowed and thanked him. From that time onward it has been noticed that many mountain monkeys never grow old. It is because their names were crossed out from the registers of the King of Death.
One morning when the Jade Emperor was sitting in his Goldendoored Cloud Palace, with all his ministers civil and military, an officer announced, 'Your majesty, the Dragon of the Eastern Sea is outside, with a plea to lay before you.' The Dragon was shown in and when he had paid his respects, a fairy boy presented a document, which the Jade Emperor began to read. 'This small dragon of the Eastern Sea informs your Majesty that a certain counterfeit Immortal from the Water-curtain Cave has maltreated your servant, forcing a way into his watery home. He demanded a weapon, using gross intimidation, and forced us to give him garments, by violence and outrage. My watery kinsmen were dismayed, tortoises and turtles fled in panic. The Dragon of the South trembled, the Dragon of the West was appalled, the Dragon of the North collapsed. Your servant was obliged to part with a holy iron staff, a phoenix-plume hat, a coat of mail and a pair of cloud-stepping shoes, before we could get rid of him. But even then he threatened us with arms and magic, and called us dirty old sneaks. We are ourselves quite unable to deal with him, and must leave the matter in your hands. We earnestly beg that you will send soldiers to control this pest and restore peace to the World Below the Waves.'
Having read the document, the Jade Emperor gave judgment. 'The Dragon,' he said, 'is to return to his sea, and I will send officers to arrest the criminal.' The Dragon King bowed and retired. Whereupon another officer immediately appeared, announcing that the First Judge of the Dead, supported by Kshitigarbha, the Advocate of the Dead, had arrived with a petition. With them was a fairy girl, who presented a document which read as follows: We respectfully submit that Heaven Above is for spirits, and the Underworld is for ghosts. Darkness and Light must have their succession. Such is the way of Nature, and cannot be changed. But a counterfeit Sage from the Water-curtain Cave has violently resisted our summons, beating to death our emissaries and menacing the Ten Judges. He made an uproar in the Palace of Death, and erased names from our books, so that in future monkeys and apes will enjoy improper longevity. We therefore appeal to your Majesty to show your authority by sending spirit soldiers to deal with this monster, restore the balance of Dark and Light and bring back peace to the Underworld.
The Jade Emperor gave judgment, 'The Lords of Darkness are to return to the Underworld, and officers shall be sent to arrest this pest.' The First Judge of the Dead bowed and retired.
'How long has this pernicious monkey been in existence?' the Jade Emperor asked of his ministers, 'and how comes it that he acquired Illumination?' At once the Officer of the Thousand League Eye and the Officer of the Down the Wind Ear stepped forward. 'This monkey,' they said, 'was emitted three hundred years ago by a stone. At first he displayed none of his present powers; but since then he has managed somehow to perfect himself and achieve Immortality. He now subdues dragons, tames tigers and has tampered with the Registers of Death.' 'Which of you deities will go down and deal with him?' asked the Jade Emperor. The Spirit of the Planet Venus came forward. 'Highest and Holiest,' he said, 'all creatures that have nine apertures are capable of achieving Immortality. Small wonder then that this monkey, produced by the natural forces of Heaven and Earth, nurtured by the light of the sun and the moon, fed by the frost and dew, should have achieved Immortality and subdue dragons and tigers. I suggest that an indulgent course should be followed. Let us send a rescript, commanding him to appear in Heaven. We will then give him official work of some kind, so that his name will appear on our rolls, and we shall be able to keep an eye on him here. If he behaves well, he can be promoted, and if he misbehaves, he must be put under arrest. This course will save us from military operations and will add to our numbers an undoubted Immortal.'
This suggestion pleased the Jade Emperor. He ordered the Spirit of the Book Star to draw up a summons and bade the Planet Venus deliver it. He went out at the southern gate of Heaven, lowered his magic cloud and soon reached the Water-curtain Cave, where he said to the crowd of monkeys, 'I am a messenger from Heaven, bearing a command that your king is to proceed at once to the Upper Realms. Tell him of this immediately.' The little monkeys outside the cave sent word to the interior that an old man had come with some writing in his hand. 'He says he is a messenger from Heaven, sent to ask you to go with him.' 'That's very convenient,' said Monkey. 'I have been thinking lately of making a little trip to Heaven!'
Monkey hurriedly tidied himself and went to the door. 'I am the Spirit of the Planet Venus,' the messenger said, 'and I bring an order from the Jade Emperor that you are to come up to Heaven and receive an Immortal appointment.' 'Old Star,' said Monkey, 'I am much obliged to you for your trouble,' and he told the monkeys to prepare a banquet. 'With the sacred command about me, I dare not linger,' said the Star. 'After your glorious ascension we shall have ample opportunity for conversation.'. 'I will not insist,' said Monkey. 'It is a great honour for us that you should have paid this visit.' Then he called the four old monkeys to him. 'Don't forget to put the young monkeys through their paces,' he said. 'I'll have a look round when I get to Heaven, and if it seems all right there, I'll send for the rest of you to come and live with me.' The old monkeys signified their agreement, and the Monkey King, following the Star Spirit, mounted the cloud and soared up. If you do not know what rank, it was they gave him, you must listen to the next chapter.
