I spun around and ran to the girls' bathroom, flung open a cubicle, and locked myself in. Footsteps were right behind me. Ollie. A pathetic LADIES sign wouldn't keep him out. He slapped his palm against the door, a single flat knock, and sighed.
"It's not what you think, Tee."
I screwed my hands into my hair, the tight pull on my scalp relieving some of the pressure on my brain. Had that little scene been deliberate? Was he punishing me because he'd seen me and Tommo? He rattled the door.
"Tee, come on. I was just showing her how to hold the cue—you know what an airhead she is. Don't be like this."
I sniffed, determined not to cry. "You were practically on top of her."
"Oh come on, I wasn't. I was just helping her, I felt sorry for her, that's all. Anyway, you said you never worried about me hanging out with other girls because you knew I'd always be yours."
I hadn't said that. I absolutely had not said that. I bet that was Fifteen messaging him, taking a jab at me.
"Honestly, sometimes I can't get a handle on what you want from me, Tee. You say something one day and the next you don't seem to remember anything about it!"
The tone of his voice had changed, and a twitch of panic tightened my jaw.
"Can you really see me and Kristal together?"
I just had.
"Come on, you're my girl, you know that."
I took my phone out of my pocket and tapped the screen. Our happy beach faces smiled up at me. I touched my fingertip to his beautiful cheek and stood for a second, weighing my options. I felt like I was holding on so tight to everything—to Ollie, to my dreams of a future, to life ... If I tried to talk to him about Kristal, everything else might burst out. I couldn't do it. I said, "It's not that. Sorry. I think I must have eaten something funny. My stomach is a bit off. I'll be fine, just give me five minutes."
And actually, my stomach did feel a bit off. Unsettled. More than usual I mean. I put it down to seeing Ollie and Kristal, but something really didn't feel right.
My phone vibrated in my hand, and Mom's name flashed up. As Mom never texted, it could only mean Fifteen had her phone. Great.
Hope you're having a lovely day xx
God, she was sarcastic. How did she even know? I texted back, Yeah, great thanks.
Ollie pushed the toe of his Converse under the door. It made me smile, just a little bit, that we were wearing matching shoes. I slid my foot under the door next to his.
"You sure you're okay?" he said.
I swallowed, not trusting myself to speak, and then the main door to the restroom creaked open and another pair of feet came in. With relief, I heard Maddy's voice. "Hey! Something to tell us, Oliver? Have you had a sex change?"
My heart lifted.
"Yeah, very funny. Teva's in there. She's not feeling well, and she won't come out."
A gentler hand knocked on the door.
"Tee? What's up, hon?"
"I ate something funny. I'm fine, honestly, just a bit queasy."
"I hope my mom hasn't chapatied you to death."
"Ha," I said softly.
Maddy and Ollie mumbled something quietly, and then the outer door creaked.
"Tee? He's gone. It's just me. What's up?"
I slid back the lock and peeled open the door. Glossy, lovely, solid Mads frowned her concern at me.
I said, "Kristal Mitchell."
"What?"
An image of Kristal sprawled over the pool table, laughing up at Ollie, fired a ball of anger in my gut and a blazing trail of itching in my skin. How dare she flirt with him? I needed him. What else did she have to cope with in her life? The rising price of lip gloss? I gave in to the itching and scratched until my skin was screaming. Until Maddy caught my hands and held on to them.
"You're making yourself bleed, Tee. Stop it. Whatever she did, she's not worth it."
I threw myself back against the toilet wall.
"God, Mads—she's such a skank. She might as well have a tattoo on her ass saying 'Take Me.'"
"So ... ?"
"Ollie was helping her with her pool technique."
Maddy raised her eyebrows. "Ouch."
"Yeah."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Do?"
"Yeah. With Ollie, what are you going to do?"
What could I do? What did I even want to do? I shrugged, and as my shoulders dropped, my anger turned into something floppy and wet. I really did have enough to worry about. Anyway, if he had seen me with Tommo's arm around my shoulders it sort of made us even, didn't it?
Through a thick throat I said, "Nothing. It just looked bad. Ollie wouldn't really do anything."
She opened her mouth to speak, but I said, "Oh, look, it's fine. I overreacted. Let's just leave it, all right? Can I borrow your mascara? I look like a wreck."
She hesitated, then rummaged in her bag.
"Here." She stuck it in my hand. "You sure you're okay? I want to see Smitt before next class. He's got some papers for me."
"Yeah. Go on."
"Haven't you got ... ?"
"Art? Yeah. I'll be fine, just tidy myself up a bit."
I'd lied, though. I wasn't fine. My stomach felt really weird—bloated and gurgly. I undid the top button of my pants. Maybe I had been chapatied to death. I heaved a sigh and took one last look in the mirror, tufting up my hair before I left. As I opened the door, my phone vibrated again. I pulled it out of my bag as I walked. A smiley face—supposedly from Mom. Definitely Fifteen trying to annoy me. I knew she was bored, jealous—angry about a million things I could do nothing about—but still, I growled under my breath before heading back to the common room to make things right with Ollie.
It took a very deep breath to push the door open, but there was no horrible flirting going on. Ollie was sitting with the rest of the boys, looking a bit lost, to be honest. He glanced up when I came in, and his face opened up into his huge little-boy smile. My heart melted and I smiled right back.
I looked around for Kristal. She was sitting on a window ledge, sunlight filtering through her mane of red hair. She might be a skank, but she was beautiful. Tears bit the back of my throat, but Ollie was on his feet and crossing the room toward me. Before I could even speak, he tucked one arm around my shoulders and the other behind my knees and scooped me up. My nerves evaporated in a flutter of squeals. We were okay. I was okay. He buried his face in my neck.
"Got you," he said, so only I could hear, "and now I'm going to eat you."
I laughed as he plopped me on one of the old sofas between Jake and Ed and then tried to squeeze himself in as well. He ended up half sitting on Jake's lap.
Jake shoved at Ollie. "Get off me, you bony-ass idiot."
The pair of them tussled like puppies, nearly elbowing me in the face. There was a burst of laughter from across the room—Kristal trying to prove she couldn't care less what Ollie was doing. Yeah, right.
Jake and Ed got up, tipping Ollie across my lap. He grinned up at me. Eyes such a deep dark brown you couldn't really see the pupils. Like pools of chocolate.
He was mine.
I bent down to kiss his soft mouth but the angle was wrong and my neck wouldn't quite bend and I ended up kissing his nose. We laughed, but as I fell into his gaze, the uncomfortable feeling in my gut gripped me, like a thing uncoiling. It rippled around my insides.
Something, someone, was wriggling under my skin.
