It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that， in a deep secret way， the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover， and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the be loved， even if this experience can cause him only pain.
爱，首先是两个人共同体验的——但这并不意味着他们的感受有何相似之处。爱，分为两种，即爱与被爱，施爱者和被爱者分属于不同的世界。被爱者常常是激发了施爱者在内心贮存了很久的激情。对于施爱者，这一点他很清楚，因为他常能感到灵魂深处爱的孤寂，这是一种前所未有的、陌生的孤寂，正是这种认识，让他痛苦万分。因而，施爱者也只有一种选择，即尽量将爱深埋于心，重塑一个全新的内心世界—— 一个强烈、陌生，完全属于他自己的世界。这里所说的施爱者不一定指为买结婚钻戒而努力存钱的小伙子，它囊括了男人、女人、孩子，或者说是全人类。
同样，被爱者也可以是任何类型的人，最怪异的人也可能被人深爱着。步履蹒跚的曾祖父可能依旧爱着一个陌生女孩，那个20年前在奇豪街头见到的女孩；牧师可能会爱上一个风尘女子。被爱者可能是背信弃义、油嘴滑舌之辈，或是染上很多恶习的人。当然，像其他人一样，施爱者同样也清楚地看到这些——但是，这丝毫不会影响他的爱意。如同沼泽地里的毒百合，一个普普通通的人也会有一场疯狂、放纵、奢华、色彩斑斓的爱，一个善良的人可能会有一场粗暴而低劣的爱，语无伦次的疯子也可能会给某人带去温柔而淳朴的浪漫情爱。因此，爱的价值及其品质取决于施爱者自身。
正因为如此，在爱与被爱之间，很多人宁愿选择前者，而不是后者。当然，人人都想成为施爱者，粗略地说来，很奇怪的是，很多人竟无法忍受处于被爱的状态。被爱者有很明白的理由对爱者又怕又恨，因为爱者始终设法想把被爱者看得一清二楚。爱者渴望与被爱者有一些关系，即使这样做只会让自己痛苦。
心灵小语
爱，是一种感情；爱，是一种感觉；爱，没有休止……爱，是值得，是复杂，是思念……
记忆填空
1. Let it be added here that this____about whom we speak need not necessarily be a____man saving for a wedding ring—this lover can be man， woman， child，____indeed any____creature on this earth.
2. A man may be a doddering great-grandfather and still____only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two decades past. The preacher may love a fallen____ . The beloved may be treacherous， greasy-headed， and given to evil____ . 佳句翻译
1. 爱，分为两种，即爱与被爱，施爱者和被爱者分属于不同的世界。
译__________________________
2. 如同沼泽地里的毒百合，一个普普通通的人也会有一场疯狂、放纵、奢华、色彩斑斓的爱。
译__________________________
3. 因此，爱的价值及其品质取决于施爱者自身。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. First of all， love is a joint experience between two persons.
first of all：首先；开始时
造________________________
2. ...but these two come from different countries...
come from：来自某处；由……造成；源自
造________________________
你会懂得……
After a While...
佚名 / Anonymous
After a while you learn
The subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul；
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning，
And company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises；
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and eyes open，
With the grace of a woman， not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads
On today because tomorrow’s ground
Is too uncertain for plans， and futures have
A way of falling down in mid flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much；
So plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul， instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn
With every good bye you learn， you relieve...
你很快就会懂得，
握住一只手与锁住一颗心，
之间有着精妙的差异；
你懂得爱并非依赖，
有陪伴并非就安全。
你会懂得亲吻并非契约，
礼物也非承诺；
失恋的痛苦你也开始能够承受。
昂起你的头，睁开你的眼，
展现你女人的风姿绰约，而非孩子般的忧郁无助。
你该清楚，
应该在今天铺设自己所有的路。
因为明天充满了太多的变数，很难规划，
且未来总会出其不意地出现在我们面前。
你很快就会懂得，
若拥有太多的阳光，也会使人灼伤；
因此要培植自己的花园，美化自己的心灵，
而不要静待别人把鲜花送至你手。
你会懂得自己确实很有耐力……
自己的确很坚强，
且拥有自身的价值。
你会逐渐懂得更多，
每次的分手都会令你有所感悟，有所解脱……
心灵小语
爱会让你一次次成长。
记忆填空
1. And you learn that love doesn’t____leaning，
And company____mean security.
2. Is too uncertain for__ ， and futures have
A____of falling down in mid flight.
3. And you____ that you really can endure...
That you really are____
And you really do____ worth.
佳句翻译
1. 你该清楚，应该在今天铺设自己所有的路。
译__________________________
2. 你很快就会懂得，若拥有太多的阳光，也会使人灼伤。
译__________________________
3. 自己的确很坚强，且拥有自身的价值。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much...
after a while：过一会儿；片刻后；不久
造________________________
2. Your own soul，instead of waiting...
instead of：代替；而不是；不是……（而是）
造________________________ 给生活的建议
Instructions for Life
佚名 / Anonymous
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
Memorize your favorite poem.
Don’ t believe all you hear， spend all you have or sleep all you want.
When you say， “I love you”， mean it.
When you say， “I’ m sorry”， look the person in the eye.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
Believe in love at first sight .
Never laugh at anyone’ s dreams. People who don’ t have dreams don’ t have much.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’ s the only way to live life completely .
In disagreements， fight fairly. No name calling.
Don’ t judge people by their relatives.
Talk slowly but think quickly.
When someone asks you a question you don’ t want to answer， smile and ask， “Why do you want to know？”
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
Call your parents.
Say “Bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
When you lose， don’ t lose the lesson.
Remember the three R’ s： Respect for self； Respect for others； Responsibility for all your actions.
Don’ t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
When you realize you’ ve made a mistake， take immediate steps to correct it.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
