The events of your childhood are crucially linked to the growth of your soul. If your life has a happy childhood at its foundation, it is as if you are vaccinated with optimism; no matter what kinds of poverty, setbacks, disasters and torments you later encounter in life, these things will all dissolve the instant they meet this serum. A happy and joyful childhood will always lead you out of the darkness and into the hopeful light!
Don't Take Your Youth Lightly
The 1980s were an idealistic era for China. The gaokao—the standardized college entrance exam—resumed, and the country's doors were thrown open to the outside world. All sorts of previously banned ideologies roamed free throughout the land, and an entire society burned with idealism. As a child who was born in the 1970s and grew up in the 1980s, the qualities of the latter decade left a permanent mark upon my life. A strong spirit and strong ideals were the trademarks of the decade—trademarks that impacted an entire generation.
With the 1990s came the dawn of the commercial era. The country's extreme material abundance and prosperity likewise led to an extreme swelling in the country's material desires. As a result, the so-called "post-80s generation" —those who grew up during the 1990s—attached even more importance to materialism and the spread of materialistic desire. This is one reason why my generation appears similar to the post-80s generation on the surface, yet is closer to the post-60s and even post-50s generations in terms of spirit.
The 1980s saw the liberalization and awakening of ideologies. One characteristic way in which this was expressed was through rebellion. The poem Answer by Bei Dao, the famous "Misty Poet" (so named because this kind of poetry has been officially denounced as "obscure" and "misty" ), with its repeated mantra of "I do not believe" , represents the true voice of many people from these years.
There are quite a few modern terms that can be used to describe these "unbelieving" people: nonconformist, forward-thinkers, rebels, society's vanguard… At the time, however, there was only one term: "fenqing" , a contraction of fennu qingnian, or "angry youth" .
In middle school, I was one of these fenqing.
My elementary school years were brilliant beyond end.
Before my third year, when my classmates were unable to even read so much as a picture book, I had already stumbled through the great classics A Dream of Red Mansions and Journey to the West. My art and music teachers, none of whom were particularly inclined toward the arts, would frequently find themselves at the end of their respective tethers, and so they would often call me up to the front of the classroom to tell stories. "Snow White" , "The Little Mermaid" , the legends of West Lake and the tale of ginseng growing on the Changbai Mountains… Each story was ready at the drop of the hat. If a detail slipped my mind, I would simply make up a different one, weaving these new elements into the story so seamlessly that my audience would be none the wiser.
No matter what question our teacher posed, I would always be the first to make sense of it. I would glance around the room only to see puzzled expressions on my classmates' faces as they racked their brains to no avail, and I would squirm in my seat. How can everyone be so dumb? I would grumble to myself.
In our household, no child was ever praised for their looks. It wasn't that our parents thought we were unattractive, but simply because they didn't believe that one's beauty or lack thereof was of any real importance. They required their children to be of noble character, to strive for self-improvement, to brim with talent and to use these same talents to contribute to society. Therefore, despite my brother's grumblings about how his poor nutrition had stunted his development, keeping him from growing into as strong as an ox and as handsome as a peacock, he was still the pride of our parents. He was also my and my sister's constant idol and role model. There were two main reasons for this. First, he stayed at the top of his class all the way from elementary school through high school. Second, his college entrance exam scores sent him straight to the best university in China. In a family like ours, a girl who relied on her good looks and flirtatiousness to gain attention would only receive contempt in return.
When I was young, some people considered me pretty. Others thought I was rather easy on the eyes, and a few merely saw me as so-so at best. I paid little attention to my own appearance, however, as I was much more eager to flaunt my intelligence.
I hated few things more than mechanical work that lacked creativity. Making pancakes, for example. It was a technique that you could master in five minutes and then simply repeat for the rest of your life. I dreamed of having a life rich in variety, one brimming with excitement and surprise. I was so greedy that I dreamed of experiencing every variety of life there was, of tasting every flavor there was to taste. I wanted to have everything and give up nothing.
I decided that acting would be a good line of work for someone like me. I could try out different roles and experience different lives. Since an actor could act out someone else's life story in a matter of months, the life of an actor was equivalent to several ordinary lifetimes, or even several dozen. What a rich and interesting life that would be!
