In the evening there was another parting.Henry Crawford came and sat some time with them;and her spirits not being previously in the strongest state,her heart was softened for a while towards him-because he really seemed to feel.-Quite unlike his usual self,he scarcely said any thing.He was evidently oppressed,and Fanny must grieve for him,though hoping she might never see him again till he were the husband of some other woman.
When it came to the moment of parting,he would take her hand,he would not be denied it;he said nothing,however,or nothing that she heard,and when he had left the room,she was better pleased that such a token of friendship had passed.
On the morrow the Crawfords were gone.
Chapter 37
Mr Crawford gone,Sir Thomas's next object was,that he should be missed,and he entertained great hope that his niece would find a blank in the loss of those attentions which at the time she had felt,or fancied,an evil.She had tasted of consequence in its most flattering form;and he did hope that the loss of it,the sinking again into nothing,would awaken very wholesome regrets in her mind.-He watched her with this idea-but he could hardly tell with what success.He hardly knew whether there were any difference in her spirits or not.She was always so gentle and retiring,that her emotions were beyond his discrimination.He did not understand her;he felt that he did not;and therefore applied to Edmund to tell him how she stood affected on the present occasion,and whether she were more or less happy than she had been.
Edmund did not discern any symptoms of regret,and thought his father a little unreasonable in supposing the first three or four days could produce any.
What chiefly surprised Edmund was,that Crawford's sister,the friend and companion,who had been so much to her,should not be more visibly regretted.He wondered that Fanny spoke so seldom of her,and had so little voluntarily to say of her concern at this separation.
Alas it was this sister,this friend and companion,who was now the chief bane of Fanny's comfort.-If she could have believed Mary's future fate as unconnected with Mansfield,as she was determined the brother's should be,if she could have hoped her return thither,to be as distant as she was much inclined to think his,she would have been light of heart indeed;but the more she recollected and observed,the more deeply was she convinced that everything was now in a fairer train for Miss Crawford's marrying Edmund than it had ever been before.-On his side,the inclination was stronger,on hers less equivocal.His objections,the scruples of his integrity,seemed all done away-nobody could tell how;and the doubts and hesitations of her ambition were equally got over-and equally without apparent reason.It could only be imputed to increasing attachment.His good and her bad feelings yielded to love,and such love must unite them.He was to go to town,as soon as some business relative to Thornton Lacey were completed-perhaps,within a fortnight,he talked of going,he loved to talk of it;and when once with her again,Fanny could not doubt the rest.-Her acceptance must be as certain as his offer;and yet,there were bad feelings still remaining which made the prospect of it most sorrowful to her,independently-she believed independently of self.
In their very last conversation,Miss Crawford,in spite of some amiable sensations,and much personal kindness,had still been Miss Crawford,still shown a mind led astray and bewildered,and without any suspicion of being so;darkened,yet fancying itself light.She might love,but she did not deserve Edmund by any other sentiment.Fanny believed there was scarcely a second feeling in common between them;and she may be forgiven by older sages,for looking on the chance of Miss Crawford's future improvement as nearly desperate,for thinking that if Edmund's influence in this season of love,had already done so little in clearing her judgment,and regulating her notions,his worth would be finally wasted on her even in years of matrimony.
Experience might have hoped more for any young people,so circumstanced,and impartiality would not have denied to Miss Crawford's nature,that participation of the general nature of women,which would lead her to adopt the opinions of the man she loved and respected,as her own.-But as such were Fanny's persuasions,she suffered very much from them,and could never speak of Miss Crawford without pain.
Sir Thomas,meanwhile,went on with his own hopes,and his own observations,still feeling a right,by all his knowledge of human nature,to expect to see the effect of the loss of power and consequence,on his niece's spirits,and the past attentions of the lover producing a craving for their return;and he was soon afterwards able to account for his not yet completely and indubitably seeing all this,by the prospect of another visitor,whose approach he could allow to be quite enough to support the spirits he was watching.-William had obtained a ten days'leave of absence to be given to Northamptonshire,and was coming,the happiest of lieutenants,because the latest made,to show his happiness and describe his uniform.
He came;and he would have been delighted to show his uniform there too,had not cruel custom prohibited its appearance except on duty.So the uniform remained at Portsmouth,and Edmund conjectured that before Fanny had any chance of seeing it,all its own freshness,and all the freshness of its wearer's feelings,must be worn away.It would be sunk into a badge of disgrace;for what can be more unbecoming,or more worthless,than the uniform of a lieutenant,who has been a lieutenant a year or two,and sees others made commanders before him?So reasoned Edmund,till his father made him the confidant of a scheme which placed Fanny's chance of seeing the 2nd lieutenant of HMS Thrush，in all his glory,in another light.
