The agreement was made,and we began.But on his second turn,the traitor changed his mind and began to take two at a time,evidently thinking that I was doing the same.But when I saw that he had broken our agreement,I wasn't satisfied with going at his rate of speed.Instead,I went even further:I took two at a time,or three at a time--in fact,I ate them as fast as I could.And when there weren't any grapes left,he just sat there for a while with the stem in his hand,and then he shook his head and said,"Lazaro,you tricked me.I'll swear to God that you ate these grapes three at a time."
"No,I didn't,"I said."But why do you think so?"
That wise old blind man answered,"Do you know how I see that you ate them three at a time?Because I was eating them two at a time,and you didn't say a word."
I laughed to myself,and even though I was only a boy,I was very much aware of the sharpness of that blind man.
But,so that I won't talk too much,I won't tell about a lot of humorous and interesting things that happened to me with my first master.I just want to tell about how we separated,and be done with him.
We were in Escalona,a town owned by the duke of that name,at an inn,and the blind man gave me a piece of sausage to roast for him.When the sausage had been basted and he had sopped up and eaten the drippings with a piece of bread,he took a coin out of his purse and told me to go get him some wine from the tavern.Then the devil put an idea in my head,just like they say he does to thieves.It so happened that near the fire there was a little turnip,kind of long and beat up;it had probably been thrown there because it wasn't good enough for stew.
At that moment he and I were there all alone,and when I whiffed the delicious odor of the sausage,I suddenly got a huge appetite--and I knew that all I would get of it would be the smell.But the thought of eating that sausage made me lose all my fear:I didn't think for a minute what would happen to me.So while the blind man was getting the money out of his purse,I took the sausage off the spit and quickly put the turnip on.Then the blind man gave me the money for the wine and took hold of the spit,turning it over the fire,trying to cook the very thing that hadn't been cooked before because it was so bad.
I went for the wine,and on the way I downed the sausage.When I came back I found that sinner of a blind man holding the turnip between two slices of bread.He didn't know what it was yet,because he hadn't felt of it.But when he took the bread and bit into it,thinking he would get part of the sausage too,he was suddenly stopped cold by the taste of the cold turnip.He got mad then,and said,"What is this,Lazarillo?"
"You mean,'Lacerated,'"I said."Are you trying to pin something on me?Didn't I just come back from getting the wine?Someone must have been here and played a joke on you."
"Oh,no,"he said."I haven't let the spit out of my hand.No one could have done that."
I kept swearing that I hadn't done any switching around.But it didn't do me any good--I couldn't hide anything from the sharpness of that miserable blind man.He got up and grabbed me by the head and got close so he could smell me.And he must have smelled my breath like a good hound.Really being anxious to find out if he was right,he held on tight and opened my mouth wider than he should have.Then,not very wisely,he stuck in his nose.And it was long and sharp.And his anger had made it swell a bit,so that the point of it hit me in the throat.So with all this and my being really frightened,along with the fact that the black sausage hadn't had time to settle in my stomach,and especially with the sudden poking in of his very large nose,half choking me--all these things went together and made the crime and the snack show themselves,and the owner got back what belonged to him.What happened was that before the blind man could take his beak out of my mouth,my stomach got so upset that it hit his nose with what I had stolen.So his nose and the black,half-chewed sausage both left my mouth at the same time.
Oh,Almighty God!I was wishing I'd been buried at that very moment,because I was already dead.The perverse blind man was so mad that if people hadn't come at the noise,I think he would have killed me.They pulled me out of his hands,and he was left with what few hairs had still been in my head.My face was all scratched up,and my neck and throat were clawed.But my throat really deserved its rough treatment because it was only on account of what it had done that I'd been beaten.Then that rotten blind man told everyone there about the things I'd done,and he told them over and over about the jug and the grapes and this last incident.
They laughed so hard that all the people who were going by in the street came in to see the fun.But the blind man told them about my tricks with such wit and cleverness that,even though I was hurt and crying,I felt that it would have been wrong for me not to laugh too.
And while this was going on I suddenly remembered that I'd been negligent and cowardly,and I began to swear at myself:I should have bitten off his nose.I'd had the opportunity to do it;in fact,half of the work had already been done for me.If only I'd clamped down with my teeth,I'd have had it trapped.Even though it belonged to that skunk,my stomach would probably have held it better than it held the sausage;and since there wouldn't have been any evidence,I could have denied the crime.I wish to God I'd have done it.It wouldn't have been a bad idea at all!
The lady running the inn and the others there made us stop our fighting,and they washed my face and throat with the wine I'd brought for him to drink.Then the dirty blind man made up jokes about it,saying things like:"The truth of the matter is I use more wine washing this boy in one year than I drink in two."And:"At least,Lazaro,you owe more to wine than you do to your father--he only gave you life once,but wine has brought you to life a thousand times."
Then he told about all the times he'd beaten me and scratched my face and then doctored me up with wine.
"I tell you,"he said,"if there's one man in the world who will be blessed by wine,it's you."
And the people who were washing me laughed out loud,while I was swearing.
But the blind man's prophecy wasn't wrong,and since then I've often thought about that man who must have had a gift for telling the future.And I feel sorry about the bad things I did to him,although I really paid him back,since what he told me that day happened just like he said it would,as you'll see later on.
Because of this and the dirty tricks the blind man played on me,I decided to leave him for good.And since I had thought about it and really had my mind set on it,this last trick of his only made me more determined.So the next day we went into town to beg.It had rained quite a bit the night before,and since it was still raining that day,he went around praying under the arcades in the town so we wouldn't get wet.But with night coming on and there still being no let up,the blind man said to me,"Lazaro,this rain isn't going to stop,and the later it gets the harder it's coming down.Let's go inside the inn before there's a real downpour."
To get there we had to cross over a ditch that was full of water from the rain.And I said to him;"Sir,the water's too wide to cross here,but if you'd like,I see an easier place to get across,and we won't get wet either.It's very narrow there,and if we jump we'll keep our feet dry."
That seemed like a good idea to him,and he said,"You're pretty clever.That's why I like you so much.Take me to the place where the ditch is narrow.It's winter now,and I don't care for water any time,and especially not when I get my feet wet."
Seeing that the time was ripe,I led him under the arcades,to a spot right in front of a sort of pillar or stone post that was in the plaza--one of those that hold up the overhanging arches of the houses.And I said to him,"Sir,this is the narrowest place along the whole ditch."
It was really raining hard and the poor man was getting wet.This,along with the fact that we were in a hurry to get out of the water that was pouring down on us--and especially because God clouded his mind so I could get revenge--made him believe me,and he said,"Point me in the right direction,and you jump over the water."
I put him right in front of the pillar.Then I jumped and got behind the post like someone waiting for a bull to charge,and I said to him,"Come on,jump as far as you can so you'll miss the water."
As soon as I'd said that,the poor blind man charged like an old goat.First he took one step back to get a running start,and then he hurled himself forward with all his might.His head hit the post with a hollow sound like a pumpkin.Then he fell over backward,half dead,with his head split open.
"What?You mean to say you smelled the sausage but not the post?Smell it,smell it!"I said,and I left him in the hands of all the people who had run to help him.
I reached the village gate on the run,and before night fell I made it to Torrijos.I didn't know what God had done with him,and I never made any attempt to find out.
