"Everything.Jed, do you remember that day when you and I had the talk about poetry and all that? When you quoted that poem about a chap's fearing his fate too much? Well, I've been fearing my fate ever since I began to realize what a mess I was getting into here in Orham.When I first came I saw, of course, that I was skating on thin ice, and it was likely to break under me at any time.Iknew perfectly well that some day the Middleford business was bound to come out and that my accepting the bank offer without telling Captain Hunniwell or any one was a mighty risky, not to say mean, business.But Ruth was so very anxious that I should accept and kept begging me not to tell, at least until they had had a chance to learn that I was worth something, that I gave in and...Isay, Jed," he put in, breaking his own sentence in the middle, "don't think I'm trying to shove the blame over on to Sis.It's not that."Jed nodded."Sho, sho, Charlie," he said, "course 'tain't.Iunderstand."
"No, I'll take the blame.I was old enough to have a mind of my own.Well, as I was saying, I realized it all, but I didn't care so much.If the smash did come, I figured, it might not come until I had established myself at the bank, until they might have found me valuable enough to keep on in spite of it.And I worked mighty hard to make them like me.Then--then--well, then Maud and Ibecame friends and--and--oh, confound it, you see what I mean! You must see."The Winslow knee was clasped between the Winslow hands and the Winslow foot was swinging.Jed nodded again.
"I see, Charlie," he said.
"And--and here I am.The smash has come, in a way, already.
Babbitt, so Ruth tells me, knows the whole story and was threatening to tell, but she says Grover assures her that he won't tell, that he, the major, has a club over the old fellow which will prevent his telling.Do you think that's true?""I shouldn't be surprised.Major Grover sartinly did seem to put the fear of the Lord into Phin this afternoon....And that's no one-horse miracle," he drawled, "when you consider that all the ministers in Orham haven't been able to do it for forty odd years....Um....Yes, I kind of cal'late Phin'll keep his hatches shut.He may bust his b'iler and blow up with spite, but he won't talk about you, Charlie, I honestly believe.And we can all thank the major for that.""I shall thank him, for one!"
"Mercy on us! No, no.He doesn't know your story at all.He just thinks Babbitt was circulatin' lies about Ruth--about your sister.
You mustn't mention the Middleford--er--mess to Major Grover.""Humph! Well, unless I'm greatly mistaken, Ruth--""Eh? Ruth--what?"
"Oh, nothing.Never mind that now.And allowing that Babbitt will, as you say, keep his mouth shut, admitting that the situation is just what it was before Captain Hunniwell lost the money or Babbitt came into the affair at all, still I've made up my mind that things can't go on as they are.Jed, I--it's a mighty hard thing to say to another man, but--the world--my world--just begins and ends with--with her."His fists clenched and his jaw set as he said it.Jed bowed his head.
"With Maud, you mean," he said.
"Yes.I--I don't care for anything else or anybody else....
Oh, of course I don't mean just that, you know.I do care for Sis and Babbie.But--they're different.""I understand, Charlie."
"No, you don't.How can you? Nobody can understand, least of all a set old crank like you, Jed, and a confirmed bachelor besides.
Beg pardon for contradicting you, but you don't understand, you can't."Jed gazed soberly at the floor.
"Maybe I can understand a little, Charlie," he drawled gently.
"Well, all right.Let it go at that.The fact is that I'm at a crisis.""Just a half minute, now.Have you said anything to Maud about--about how you feel?"
"Of course I haven't," indignantly."How could I, without telling her everything?""That's right, that's right.Course you couldn't, and be fair and honorable....Hum....Then you don't know whether or not she--er--feels the same way about--about you?"Charles hesitated."No-o," he hesitated."No, I don't know, of course.But I--I feel--I--""You feel that that part of the situation ain't what you'd call hopeless, eh?...Um....Well, judgin' from what I've heard, I shouldn't call it that, either.Would it surprise you to know, Charlie, that her dad and I had a little talk on this very subject not so very long ago?"Evidently it did surprise him.Charles gasped and turned red.
"Captain Hunniwell!" he exclaimed."Did Captain Hunniwell talk with you about--about Maud and--and me?""Yes."
"Well, by George! Then he suspected--he guessed that-- That's strange."Jed relinquished the grip of one hand upon his knee long enough to stroke his chin.
"Um...yes," he drawled drily."It's worse than strange, it's--er--paralyzin'.More clairvoyants in Orham than you thought there was; eh, Charlie?""But why should he talk with you on that subject; about anything so--er--personal and confidential as that? With YOU, you know!"Jed's slow smile drifted into sight and vanished again.He permitted himself the luxury of a retort.
"Well," he observed musingly, "as to that I can't say for certain.
Maybe he did it for the same reason you're doin' it now, Charlie."The young man evidently had not thought of it in just that light.
He looked surprised and still more puzzled.
"Why, yes," he admitted."So I am, of course.And I do talk to you about things I never would think of mentioning to other people.
And Ruth says she does.That's queer, too.But we are--er--neighbors of yours and--and tenants, you know.We've known you ever since we came to Orham.""Ye-es.And Sam's known me ever since I came.Anyhow he talked with me about you and Maud.I don't think I shall be sayin' more'n I ought to if I tell you that he likes you, Charlie.""Does he?" eagerly."By George, I'm glad of that! But, oh, well,"with a sigh, "he doesn't know.If he did know my record he might not like me so well.And as for my marrying his daughter--good NIGHT!" with hopeless emphasis.
