This day a violent altercation arose between Johnson and Beauclerk,which having made much noise at the time,I think it proper,in order to prevent any future misrepresentation,to give a minute account of it.
In talking of Hackman,Johnson argued,as Judge Blackstone had done,that his being furnished with two pistols was a proof that he meant to shoot two persons.Mr.Beauclerk said,'No;for that every wise man who intended to shoot himself,took two pistols,that he might be sure of doing it at once.Lord ------------'
cook shot himself with one pistol,and lived ten days in great agony.Mr.------,who loved buttered muffins,but durst not eat them because they disagreed with his stomach,resolved to shoot himself;and then he eat three buttered muffins for breakfast,before shooting himself,knowing that he should not be troubled with indigestion:HE had two charged pistols;one was found lying charged upon the table by him,after he had shot himself with the other.''Well,(said Johnson,with an air of triumph,)you see here one pistol was sufficient.'Beauclerk replied smartly,'Because it happened to kill him.'And either then or a very little afterwards,being piqued at Johnson's triumphant remark,added,'This is what you don't know,and I do.'There was then a cessation of the dispute;and some minutes intervened,during which,dinner and the glass went on cheerfully;when Johnson suddenly and abruptly exclaimed,'Mr.Beauclerk,how came you to talk so petulantly to me,as "This is what you don't know,but what I know"?One thing I know,which YOU don't seem to know,that you are very uncivil.'BEAUCLERK.'Because YOU began by being uncivil,(which you always are.)'The words in parenthesis were,Ibelieve,not heard by Dr.Johnson.Here again there was a cessation of arms.Johnson told me,that the reason why he waited at first some time without taking any notice of what Mr.Beauclerk said,was because he was thinking whether he should resent it.But when he considered that there were present a young Lord and an eminent traveller,two men of the world with whom he had never dined before,he was apprehensive that they might think they had a right to take such liberties with him as Beauclerk did,and therefore resolved he would not let it pass;adding,that 'he would not appear a coward.'A little while after this,the conversation turned on the violence of Hackman's temper.Johnson then said,'It was his business to COMMAND his temper,as my friend,Mr.
Beauclerk,should have done some time ago.'BEAUCLERK.'I should learn of YOU,Sir.'JOHNSON.'Sir,you have given MEopportunities enough of learning,when I have been in YOUR company.
No man loves to be treated with contempt.'BEAUCLERK.(with a polite inclination towards Johnson,)'Sir,you have known me twenty years,and however I may have treated others,you may be sure Icould never treat you with contempt.'JOHNSON.'Sir,you have said more than was necessary.'Thus it ended;and Beauclerk's coach not having come for him till very late,Dr.Johnson and another gentleman sat with him a long time after the rest of the company were gone;and he and I dined at Beauclerk's on the Saturday se'nnight following.
After this tempest had subsided,I recollect the following particulars of his conversation:--'I am always for getting a boy forward in his learning;for that is a sure good.I would let him at first read ANY English book which happens to engage his attention;because you have done a great deal when you have brought him to have entertainment from a book.He'll get better books afterwards.'
'To be contradicted,in order to force you to talk,is mighty unpleasing.You SHINE,indeed;but it is by being GROUND.'
On Saturday,April 24,I dined with him at Mr.Beauclerk's,with Sir Joshua Reynolds,Mr.Jones,(afterwards Sir William,)Mr.
Langton,Mr.Steevens,Mr.Paradise,and Dr.Higgins.I mentioned that Mr.Wilkes had attacked Garrick to me,as a man who had no friend.'I believe he is right,Sir.[Greek text omitted]--He had friends,but no friend.Garrick was so diffused,he had no man to whom he wished to unbosom himself.He found people always ready to applaud him,and that always for the same thing:so he saw life with great uniformity.'I took upon me,for once,to fight with Goliath's weapons,and play the sophist.--Garrick did not need a friend,as he got from every body all he wanted.What is a friend?
One who supports you and comforts you,while others do not.
Friendship,you know,Sir,is the cordial drop,"to make the nauseous draught of life go down:"but if the draught be not nauseous,if it be all sweet,there is no occasion for that drop.'
JOHNSON.'Many men would not be content to live so.I hope Ishould not.They would wish to have an intimate friend,with whom they might compare minds,and cherish private virtues.One of the company mentioned Lord Chesterfield,as a man who had no friend.
JOHNSON.'There were more materials to make friendship in Garrick,had he not been so diffused.'BOSWELL.'Garrick was pure gold,but beat out to thin leaf.Lord Chesterfield was tinsel.'
