I discovered also, by an omission in the chart, that this was not the Island wot of by the good and aged Devonshire divine--and so we eased our consciences of accounting for the treasure to him. We then sailed away, arriving after many years' absence at the Port of Bristol in Merrie England, where I took leave of the "Jolly Roger," that being the name of my ship; it was a strange conceit of seamen in after years ever to call the device of my FLAG--to wit, a skull and bones made in the sign of a Cross--by the NAME my ship bore, and if I have only corrected the misuse of history by lying knaves, I shall be content with this writing. But alas! such are the uncertainties of time; I found my good Lord of Southampton dead and most of his friends beheaded, and the blessed King James of Scotland--if I mistake not, for these also be the uncertainties of time--on the throne. In due time I married Mistress Marian Straitways. I might have told more of trifling, and how she fared, poor wench! in mine absence, even to the following of me in another ship, in a shipboy's disguise, and how I rescued her from a scheming Pagan villain; but, as a plain, blunt man, I am no hand at the weaving of puling love tales and such trifling diversions for lovesick mayds and their puny gallants--having only consideration for men and their deeds, which I have here set down bluntly and even at mine advanced years am ready to maintain with the hand that set it down.
DAN'L BOREM BY E. N--S W--T--T
I
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Dan'l Borem poured half of his second cup of tea abstractedly into his"Guess you've got suthin' on yer mind, Dan'l," said his sister.
"Mor'n likely I've got suthin' on my pants," returned Dan'l with thatexquisitely dry, though somewhat protracted humor which at once thrilled and bored his acquaintances."But--speakin' o' that hoss trade"--"For goodness' sake, don't!" interrupted his sister wearily; "yer allus doin' it. Jest tell me about that young man--the new clerk ye think o' gettin'.""Well, I telegraphed him to come over, arter I got this letter from him," he returned, handing her a letter. "Read it out loud."But his sister, having an experienced horror of prolixity, glanced over it. "Far as I kin see he takes mor'n two hundred words to say you've got to take him on trust, and sez it suthin' in a style betwixt a business circular and them Polite Letter Writers. I thought you allowed he was a tony feller.""Ef he does not brag much, ye see, I kin offer him small wages," said Dan'l, with a wink. "It's kinder takin' him at his own figger." "And THAT mightn't pay! But ye don't think o' bringin' him HERE in this house? 'Cept you're thinkin' o' tellin' him that yarn o' yours about the hoss trade to beguile the winter evenings. I told ye ye'd hev to pay yet to get folks to listen to it.""Wrong agin--ez you'll see! Wot ef I get a hundred thousand folks to pay me for tellin' it? But, speakin' o' this young feller, I calkilated to send him to the Turkey Buzzard Hotel;" and he looked at his sister with a shrewd yet humorous smile.
"What!" said his sister in alarm. "The Turkey Buzzard! Why, he'll be starved or pizoned! He won't stay there a week.""Ef he's pizoned to death he won't be able to demand any wages; ef he leaves because he can't stand it--it's proof positive he couldn't stand me. Ef he's only starved and made weak and miserable he'll be easy to make terms with. It may seem hard what I'm sayin', but what seems hard on the other feller always comes mighty easy to you. The thing is NOT to be the 'other feller.'Ye ain't listenin'.Yet these remarks is shrewd andhumorous, and hez bin thought so by literary fellers.""H'm!" said his sister. "What's that ye was jest sayin' about folks bein' willin' to pay ye for tellin' that hoss trade yarn o' yours?""Thet's only what one o' them smart New York publishers allowed it was worth arter hearin' me tell it," said Dan'l dryly.
