[The CLOWNS bounce at the gate, within.]
DUKE. What rude disturbers have we at the gate? Go, pacify their fury, set it ope, And then demand of them what they would have.
[They knock again, and call out to talk with FAUSTUS.]
SERVANT. Why, how now, masters! what a coil is there! What is the reason you disturb the Duke?
DICK [within]. We have no reason for it; therefore a fig for him! SERVANT. Why, saucy varlets, dare you be so bold?
HORSE-COURSER [within]. I hope, sir, we have wit enough to be more bold than welcome.
SERVANT. It appears so: pray, be bold elsewhere, and trouble not the Duke.
DUKE. What would they have?
SERVANT. They all cry out to speak with Doctor Faustus. CARTER [within]. Ay, and we will speak with him.
DUKE. Will you, sir?--Commit the rascals.
DICK [within]. Commit with us! he were as good commit with his father as commit with us.
FAUSTUS. I do beseech your grace, let them come in; They are good subject for a merriment.
DUKE. Do as thou wilt, Faustus; I give thee leave. FAUSTUS. I thank your grace.
Enter ROBIN, DICK, CARTER, and HORSE-COURSER.
Why, how now, my good friends! Faith, you are too outrageous: but, come near; I have procur'd your pardons: welcome, all.
ROBIN. Nay, sir, we will be welcome for our money, and we will pay for what we take.--What, ho! give's half a dozen of beer here, and be hanged!
FAUSTUS. Nay, hark you; can you tell me where you are? CARTER. Ay, marry, can I; we are under heaven.
SERVANT. Ay; but, Sir Saucebox, know you in what place?
HORSE-COURSER. Ay, ay, the house is good enough to drink in. -- Zouns, fill us some beer, or we'll break all the barrels in the house, and dash out all your brains with your bottles!
FAUSTUS. Be not so furious: come, you shall have beer.-- My lord, beseech you give me leave a while; I'll gage my credit 'twill content your grace.
DUKE. With all my heart, kind doctor; please thyself; Our servants and our court's at thy command.
FAUSTUS. I humbly thank your grace.--Then fetch some beer. HORSE-COURSER. Ay, marry, there spake a doctor, indeed!
and, faith, I'll drink a health to thy wooden leg for that word.
FAUSTUS. My wooden leg! what dost thou mean by that?
CARTER. Ha, ha, ha!--Dost hear him, Dick? he has forgot hisleg.
HORSE-COURSER. Ay, ay, he does not stand much upon that. FAUSTUS. No, faith; not much upon a wooden leg.
CARTER. Good Lord, that flesh and blood should be so frail withyour worship!Do not you remember a horse-courser you sold a horseto?
FAUSTUS. Yes, I remember I sold one a horse.
CARTER. And do you remember you bid he should not ridehim into the water?
FAUSTUS. Yes, I do very well remember that. CARTER. And do you remember nothing of your leg? FAUSTUS. No, in good sooth.
CARTER. Then, I pray you, remember your courtesy. FAUSTUS. I thank you, sir.
CARTER. 'Tis not so much worth.I pray you, tell me one thing. FAUSTUS. What's that?
CARTER. Be both your legs bed-fellows every night together?
FAUSTUS. Wouldst thou make a Colossus of me, that thou askest me such questions?
CARTER. No, truly, sir; I would make nothing of you; but I would fain know that.
Enter HOSTESS with drink.
FAUSTUS. Then, I assure thee certainly, they are. CARTER. I thank you; I am fully satisfied. FAUSTUS. But wherefore dost thou ask?
CARTER. For nothing, sir:but methinks you should have a wooden bed-fellow of one of 'em.
HORSE-COURSER. Why, do you hear, sir? did not I pull off one of your legs when you were asleep?
FAUSTUS. But I have it again, now I am awake: look you here, sir. ALL. O, horrible! had the doctor three legs?
CARTER. Do you remember, sir, how you cozened me, and eat up my load of----[FAUSTUS, in the middle of each speech, charms them dumb.] DICK. Do you remember how you made me wear an ape's----HORSE-COURSER. You whoreson conjuring scab, do you remember how you cozened me with a ho----ROBIN. Ha' you forgotten me? you think to carry it away with your hey-pass and re-pass:do you remember the dog's fa---- [ExeuntCLOWNS.]
HOSTESS. Who pays for the ale? hear you, Master Doctor; now you have sent away my guess, I pray who shall pay me for my a---- [Exit HOSTESS.]
DUCHESS. My lord, We are much beholding to this learned man.
DUKE. So are we, madam; which we will recompense With all the love and kindness that we may: His artful sport drives all sad thoughts away. [Exeunt.]
Thunder and lightning. Enter DEVILS with covered dishes; MEPHISTOPHILIS leads them into FAUSTUS'S study; then enter WAGNER.
WAGNER. I think my master means to die shortly; he has made his will, and given me his wealth, his house, his goods, and store of golden plate, besides two thousand ducats ready-coined. I wonder what he means: if death were nigh, he would not frolic thus. He's now at supper with the scholars, where there's such belly-cheer as Wagner in his life ne'er saw the like: and, see where they come! belike the feast is ended. [Exit.]
Enter FAUSTUS, MEPHISTOPHILIS, and two or three SCHOLARS.
FIRST SCHOLAR. Master Doctor Faustus, since our conference about fair ladies, which was the beautifulest in all the world, we have determined with ourselves that Helen of Greece was the admirablest lady that ever lived: therefore, Master Doctor, if you will do us so much favour as to let us see that peerless dame of Greece, whom all the world admires for majesty, we should think ourselves much beholding unto you.
FAUSTUS. Gentlemen, For that I know your friendship is unfeign'd, It is not Faustus' custom to deny The just request of those that wish him well: You shall behold that peerless dame of Greece, No otherwise for pomp or majesty Than when Sir Paris cross'd the seas with her, And brought the spoils to rich Dardania. Be silent, then, for danger is in words.
Music sounds. MEPHISTOPHILIS brings in HELEN; she passeth over the stage.
SECOND SCHOLAR. Was this fair Helen, whose admired worthMade Greece with ten years' war afflict poor Troy?
