演讲背景
Sunny在2014年加入了天河演讲俱乐部（当时位于广州威尼斯国际酒店四楼），当时俱乐部主席是美国人Paul，而副主席是德国人Klaus，俱乐部的新入会员一般都会找一个有资历的会员当mentor，请其给予演讲的指导。当时Sunny的mentor刚好就是德国人Klaus。美国人热情奔放，自由随性；德国人严谨周密，沉稳低调。他们一松一弛，一唱一和，把天河俱乐部搞得有声有色。
于是，Sunny为他们写下这篇演讲稿——是与否。
英文稿 Yes and no
I would like to share a simple application of two powerful words: “Yes and no.” Allow me to use Paul, our president, and Klaus, our VPE, to illustrate this.
Paul is from America, Klaus is from Germany, both are aliens to us, and to each other.
They are white, the same color with Snow White, which we Chinese girls admire. They do not need to use make-up to lighten their skin color.
It is not difficult to tell what they have in common, but can you tell me what is the difference between Paul and Klaus? Their hair style? Paul sports a shinning point on his head (he is bold in the middle of his head), Klaus has not lost any hair…. yet. What else?
For me, Paul is a Mr. Yes, Klaus is a Mr. No, to the same issue, we can always hear “yes” from Paul, while get a “No” from Klaus. What is sad is that Klaus's 'No' does not mean “perhaps”, and there is no way his “No” means “Yes”, for him “no” means “no” definitely, so I will never ask Klaus whether I am beautiful or not, I will ask this question to Paul.
You can verify what I say by looking at their facial expressions. Paul always gives us a big smile, when Klaus always keeps his poker face. Because of this, I told my name to Paul the first time I met him. i met Klaus the second time, we were in a lift going up to our club, I pretended I didn't know him and all I could think was “why does it take so long to get the 4th floor”?
I was only in favor of Paul's 'Yes', sometimes I even wanted to turn Klaus into mute mode, so I would not hear his 'no'. Yet, I soon realized the requires “yes” and “no” that we can not overlook the value of “No”, that we must never underestimate the value of a critique.
Before I did my CC2 speech, I sent it to Klaus who was my mentor at that time. I was quite satisfied with my “masterpiece” and waited for a compliment from him. I wondered what kind of compliment he was going to make about my work. I indulged in a feeling of satisfaction. But alas Klaus replied quickly, his reply brought me down from my sweet daydreaming to reality promptly. He said that my speech was too long and presented so many points that I might forget the content. I decided to ignore his comment-his “no”. However,what he said turned out to be right, I forgot two paragraphs when I delivered my speech.
Now that I comprehend the value of both I have changed my attitude towards “Yes” and “No”.
While I deliver any speech, I always look at Paul, after I finish the speech, I always want to get the evaluation from Klaus. Paul's smile gives me the courage and confidence. Klaus's evaluation offer me the chance to view my weakness and make improvements.
Paul is good at looking at people's shinning points, while Klaus is good at looking at people's weak points. I open my ears, one for yes, one for no. I accept both, take them to my heart, I believe hey are helping me to improve.
Ugliness and evil help us identify what is beauty and virtue. Every end engenders a beginning. We deal with what is easy or difficult. We distinguish between length and shortness, height and lowness enrich each other. Tone and sound coordinate each other. Life implied choices. We need both “yes” and “No”.
Let me leave you with a simple thought: never underestimate the importance of “Yes” and “no”. In life we need both.
中文稿 是与否
今天我想跟大家分享两个简单而重要的词汇：是与否。请允许我用我们的俱乐部主席Paul和教育副主席Klaus作为例子给大家阐述这两个词。大家都知道，Paul是美国人，Klaus是德国人，对于我们来说，他们都是外国人。对于他们对方来说，彼此也是外国人。他们都是白人，跟白雪公主一样，他们雪白透亮的肌肤是天生丽质，让中国女孩子惊羡。要说出他们的共同点并不难，但是你能说说他们有什么不一样吗？
“发型？”对，Paul的头上有闪光点（典型中年男人的发型，地中海发型），Klaus呢？头发尚存。那除了他们的发型，还有什么不一样呢？对我来说，Paul就是Mr Yes，Klaus就是Mr No，对于同一件事情，我们总能从Paul那边得到“Yes”，从Klaus那里听到“No”。可惜的是，Klaus的“No”不代表“可能”，更不可能意味着“Yes”。所以我永远不会问Klaus我是否漂亮，要问我就只问Paul。
他们对于是否的态度从他们的表情就可以看出来。Paul总是笑眯眯的，一副平易近人的样子，然而Klaus总是紧绷着脸，一副拒人于千里之外的表情。所以当我第一次看见Paul的时候，我就主动地做自我介绍；但是在我第二次见到Klaus的时候，那时我们在前往俱乐部的电梯里，我依然装作一副不认识他的样子，心里嘀咕着：“怎么那么久才到四楼呢？”
我只喜欢听Paul的Yes，有时候我甚至想把Klaus调到静音状态，这样我就不用听到他的No了。但是很快我便意识到“是”与“否”的重要性，我不能忽略否的作用，不听从别人的批评。
在我做CC2的演讲之前，我把我的演讲稿发给了我的导师Klaus。我满意地将我的杰作发送给Klaus并等待着他的赞美，一直想着我的导师会怎样夸奖我，沉浸在喜悦当中。但是Klaus很快就打破了我的幻想，把我从甜蜜的梦拉回残酷的现实。他说我的演讲太长了，想表达的东西太多，到时上台就很容易忘词。我决定不采纳他的意见，但是现实却证明了他的建议是正确的，当我演讲的时候，我居然忘记了两个段落。
现在我意识到是与否的重要性，所以以后当我在台上做演讲的时候，我就会看着Paul，寻求肯定，当我做完演讲，我就会将眼光投向Klaus，希望得到他的评语，得到提高。Paul的微笑给予我信心与肯定，Klaus的评价让我正视自己的弱点，提高自己。Paul善于发现别人的闪光点，Klaus擅长找出别人的不足点，现在我伸出我的耳朵，一个听Yes，一个听No，兼听两者，装进心里，是与否能够让我在演讲之路上越走越远。
有无相生，难易相成，长短相形，高下相倾，音声相和，前后相随。生活中选择无所不在，抉择需要是与否。前进需要得到别人的肯定，提高需要听从别人的否定。要成就自我，就要接受“是”与“否”。
第4章 Why men are always wrong? 男人为什么总是错的？
演讲背景
我的一位异性朋友，总是觉得自己睿智无比，聪明绝顶，做任何事情都是对的，但是自从他恋爱之后，他发现自己总是错的。于是开始了他的哲学探究之路：为什么男人总是错的？
英文稿 Why men are always wrong?
My friend always thinks he is right until he has a girlfriend. After my friend falls in love, he apologizes all the time. They always has a conversation like this:
“I am wrong, baby.”
“No, you are right, always.”
“I am sorry, I am wrong. Please forgive me.”
“You are wrong? okay, tell me what did you do is wrong?”
“What did I do is wrong?” actually my friend wants to know the answer and is thinking that he is right, but looking at his girlfriend's angry face, he says:”I am wrong because I make you angry.”
“who tells you I am angry, I am not angry at all.”
“oh, you are not angry, I am sorry I am wrong again.”
Now he learnt the lesson that if there is something wrong, he will tell his girlfriend “I am wrong” in the beginning, because he knows that no matter how hard he tries, the result will be the same. He said that if I do stupid things, she will be angry, I apologize . If she does stupid things, I am angry, then she will be angry that I am angry, in the end I apologize.
This remind me a story before a man gets married. His father told him that:” my son, if you want to have a happy marriage, you must remember the following two pieces of advice. The first advice is women are always right, the second one is if women are wrong, refer to the first advice. Why men are always wrong? It is because women are always right. But what will happen when a woman tells a man that “you are right”? Let's see.
“You already have a lot of clothes in your wardrobe, you don't need to buy more, it is a waste of money”.
“Yes, you are right.”
“You should not talk too much, you should keep silent that makes you graceful.” “Yes, you are right.”
“Why are you always late? You are wasting my time.” “Yes, you are right.”
After women finish the sentence “you are right”, she will leave you. You win the debate, but you will lose her. If you want to make up for it, you have to spend more time and effort to prove and convince her that she is right while you are wrong.
Women will thank those men who make them better, but they only marry those who let them be themselves, so men should not tell your woman what is right, you should tell her no matter what she does, she is always right. Now you know why women are always right, right?
You might ask why those women are so stupid to marry those men who always do wrong things. Actually those women who chose Mr. Wrong are smart, because they know that most of the time it is themselves who have done something wrong, but to make them feel better, their men will say it is their fault. They know that if a man thinks you are the right person, right or wrong doesn't matter, what matters is whether you are happy or not. If you are unhappy, that is wrong, if you are happy, that is right. Your smile on the face is his priority. Those women who choose men who always say “I am wrong” must be happier than those women who choose men who always tell them that “you are wrong.”
Gentleman, you should remember if you tell your woman that “I am wrong”, then you are right; if you tell your woman that “you are wrong', you will know you are the one who is wrong. If something goes wrong in your relationship, you should always say “baby, I am wrong”. Because women are always right.
中文稿 男人为什么总是错的？
我的朋友一直都认为自己总是对的，直到有一天他有了女朋友。自从我的朋友坠入爱河之后，他总是跪地板赔礼道歉。他们的日常对话经常是这样的：
“对不起，宝贝，我错了。”
“不，你对，我错，你总是对的。”
“不不，对不起，我错了，请原谅我，好吗？”
“你错了？好啊，那你告诉我你错在哪了？”
“我做错了什么？”我朋友心里也觉得自己没做错什么，嘀咕着自己也想知道答案啊，但是看着女朋友杏眼圆睁，蛾眉倒蹙的样子，他说：“我错了，因为我惹你生气了。”
“谁告诉你我生气了，我一点都不生气！”
“哦，你不生气，对不起，我又错了。”
现在他得到了一个教训，如果他们出现了任何问题，他要先跟女友说“对不起”，因为他知道无论怎么样，最后结果都是一样的，都是他的错。他说如果我做了蠢事，我女友就会生我的气，我要道歉；如果我女朋友做了蠢事，我生气，最后她生我的气，是因为我生气了，到头来还是得我道歉。
这让我想起一个新郎婚前他父亲对他说的一段话：“儿子啊，如果你想有个幸福的婚姻的话，你要听从一下我的建议。第一是，女人总是对的，第二条是，如果她错了，请参考第一条。现在明白了吧，为什么男人总是错的？因为女人总是对的。当女人跟男人说“你说的对”的时候，会是怎样的结局呢？
“你衣柜里有很多衣服了，你不需要再买了，那是浪费金钱。”
“对，你说的对。”
“你不要说那么多，少说点保持优雅。”
“对，你说的对。”
“你怎么迟到了？你在浪费我的时间。”
“对，你说的对。”
当女人跟你说完“你说的对”之后，你的恋情大抵就掰了。你赢了争论，输了美人。如果日后你想赢回美人心，那就要费尽心思，耗费更多时间去说服她，你是错的，她是对的。
你也许会说为什么女人怎么那么傻，会跟那些总是做错事的男人结婚。其实这些女人才是聪明的女人，她们不是跟总是做错事的男人结婚，而是跟总会认错的男人结婚。很多时候女人明白其实是她们自己做错事了，但是为了让她们自己不伤心难过，男人就会承担她们犯下的错误，说是他们的错。如果男人觉得你是对的人，那么事情的对错就不那么重要，重要的是你是否快乐。如果你不快乐，那就是错的；如果你快乐，那就是对的。你的微笑才是他真正关心的。那些选择了总是说“我错了”的男人的女人总是比那些嫁给总是告诉她们“你错了”的男人的女人幸福。
回顾人类的恋爱史，你们有没有发现，女人对于那些教育过她们的男人，她们会感谢他们帮助其成长，但是却离开了他们，最后嫁给了那些把她们宠成孩子的男人。女人会感谢那些让她变得更好的人，但是却会嫁给让她做自己的人。所以，男人一定不要告诉女人怎样做才对，而是告诉她，她怎么做都对。
总而言之，先生们，你们要记得，当你跟你的女人发生争执的时候，你对你的女人说“我错了”，那你就对了；如果你对你的女人说“你错了”，那你就大错特错了。记住哦，要是感情出错，作为男人的你要先出来认错说“宝贝，我错了”，因为女人总是对的。
第5章 What you believes makes who you are 你的信念造就了你
英文稿 What you believes makes who you are
Recently I read a piece of news that one boss of a real estate company blind worship the Chinese zodiac so all of his employees are Pig Zodiac. One fortune teller told him that the people who is Pig zodiac can bring him fortune. I find it is ridiculous but also funny, then I share this news with my friend and joked with her: “hey, that boss raise a nest of pigs.”
To my surprise, my friend told me that she has experienced the similar ridiculous interview. What is different is that she was turn down because of her zodiac, but because of her family name.
That day she went for her interview, just like many other interview, the interviewer asked her to do the self-introduction. The moment she said her name, the interviewer nearly choked himself and said: “what did you say? Your family name is Pei (裴)? “Pei” pronounces the same to “loss (赔)” in Chinese. The interviewer then told my cousin that:“ your family name seems that you are a person who will bring us misfortune, I am afraid that you will block my way to make fortune.”
Initially I am quite puzzled by these ridiculous believes, then I have a deeper reflection on this matter. It is what you believe makes who you are. How does that work? What you believe is what you do. What you do often determines your habit and your habit determines your character. Your character determines who you are. In one's life, what one believes play a very important role.
Take a look at history, it is not hard to find people to be who they are through what they believe.
María Evita Duarte de Perón who was the first lady of Argentina, from the day she was driven out of the funeral of his middle-class father, who has abandoned her mother, making her a bastard, she swore to be a part of big apple, to be far superior to his father's middle class. What she believes support this slum house girl to go through the thorns of life, and finally become the first lady of Argentina. The day she passed away, the whole nation cry for her.
Not only in history, but also from the daily life, it is not hard to find what we believe makes who we are. For example, our VPM Rocky, he believes he will make a progress in his communicate and leadership skill within galaxy toastmaster, so seldom does he miss the meeting. As we can see now, he not only becomes experienced in his speech deliver skill, but also in his leadership skill.
People who succeed on a major scale differ greatly in their beliefs from those who fail.Our beliefs about what we are and what we can be precisely determine what we will be.If we believe in magic, we will live a magic life. If we believe our life is defined by narrowed limits, we've suddenly made those limits real. What we believe to be true, what we believe is possible, becomes what is true, becomes what is possible. Many people are passionate, but because of their limiting beliefs about what they are and what they can do, they never take the actions that could make their dream a reality.People who succeed know what they want and believe that they can get it.
To conclude, you see what you believe, do what you believe, you will become what you believe. You are where you are today in your life based on everything you have believed. And what you believe today will contribute to make who you are tomorrow.
中文稿 你的信念造就了你
近日我看到一则消息，一个房地产的老板对中国的生肖非常迷信，在挑选员工的时候，只挑生肖属猪的人，因为有个算命的跟他说生肖属猪的人能给他带来财运。看完这则新闻，我觉得荒谬可笑。
出乎我意料的是，我朋友说她曾有过类似可笑的经历，但是她被拒的原因不是她的生肖而是她的姓。她去面试的时候，就像其他面试者一样，她被要求做自我介绍。当她说到她的名字的时候，面试官几乎呛到自己，他问道：“你说什么？你姓裴？”在中文里，“裴”跟“赔”同音，于是，面试官告诉我朋友：“小姐，不好意思，我们不能录用你，因为你的姓似乎会给我们带来不幸，听起来你会挡住我的财路。”
一开始我对这些人的迷信大惑不解，后来我也悟出了一个道理：你相信什么，你就是什么人。这是怎么发生的呢？撒切尔夫人曾说过：思想决定语言，语言决定行动，行动决定习惯，习惯决定性格，性格决定命运，所以我们的思想决定我们的一切。
贝隆夫人是阿根廷的第一夫人，曾经是个来自社会最底层的私生子，她那中产阶级的父亲抛弃了她来自贫民阶级的母亲。自从她被中产阶级的叔伯亲戚撵出她父亲的葬礼后，她发誓一定要进入阿根廷的上层社会，超越她那些自以为是的叔叔伯伯。她的信念带着她走出贫民窟，走上生命的巅峰，最终成为阿根廷的第一夫人。当她与世长辞的时候，全国上下都为她哭泣。
这不仅仅在历史上可以找到印证，甚至在我们最平常不过的生活里面都可以看到信念对于一个人的影响。比方说，我们的会员主席Rocky，他相信在天河俱乐部里面可以提高他的沟通水平以及领导能力，所以他几乎出席所有的例会。我们有目共睹，他从一个英语结结巴巴的小伙子成为我们魅力四射的会员主席。
一个人的成就很大程度就跟他们的信念相关，我们相信什么，最终我们就会成为什么人。我们相信可能的会成真，然后我们所想的就变成了现实。有很多激情四射的青年人，但是他们没有坚强的信念，无论他们做什么，他们从来不用行动把他们的梦想变成现实。
总而言之，你看见了你所信的，做你所念的，然后你就会成为你所想的。你的信念给你带来了今天的生活，而你今天的信念将会决定你明天的日子。
第6章 Is your woman a cat or a tigress? 女人是猫还是母老虎
演讲背景
一天朋友聚餐，一位男性朋友的脸上出现了一道红色的长长的抓痕，我们打趣地问他：“怎么了？跟嫂子打架了？”该朋友面露尴尬地说：“没……有……被猫抓的。”于是朋友们不约而同地笑了，心里都知道他家有只母老虎，最后大家一起讨论起猫跟老虎的话题。
英文稿 Is your woman a cat or a tigress?
I asked a friend the difference between a cat and a tiger. He said: “It is simple. A cat is like a single woman, a tigress is what she becomes after marriage. Before marriage, my wife scratches my back, after marriage she scratches my face.
Mr or Madam Toastmaster, ladies and gentlemen my friend firmly believed his wife was elegant, considerate and mysterious as a cat before they got married and that after they got married she progressively became aggressive, raised her voice and adopted a tigress behavior.
Though his comment amused me it made reflect on whether a woman indeed changes after marriage. Tonight I want to explore his perception and look for an explanation of what causes the change if it indeed happens.
Cats have always been a symbol of magic, independence, mystery and femininity. A cat-like, sophisticated, cute woman is an ideal for many men while tigresses have always been a symbol of danger, cruelty, madness in Chinese culture. A tigress-like woman scares away men, making them tremble with fear.
How can we explain a woman's great change? Some people argue that cats and tigers are feline, they are the same in nature,a tiger is also called a “big cat”. When a pussy cat grows up it naturally turns into a “big cat”. They argue that woman's change from a cat into a tigress is a law of nature. I do not accept this, yes they are both felines but a cat will always remain a cat and a tiger will always be a tiger.
I am inclined to believe that a woman's character evolves through the characteristics of her relationship with her partner.
Let me illustrate how a man turns a woman's personality from a cat's into a tigress'.
First of all, a man leaves all the family chores to his woman. After a woman gets married, she becomes the one who needs to take care of others, she not only becomes a wife but also a mother,and a daughter in-law. She needs to deal with complicated family relationships and take care of all the housework. Apart from that,she has her own profession. In the daytime, she needs to work.After work, a lot of family chores are waiting for her. Under such a great pressure, it is easy for a woman to lose her temper, any mistake you make might light her fuse. The heavy family and working burdens exhaust her, making her become an irritable, hysterical tigress.
Secondly, you are absent every time she needs you. A woman expects her man to be her knight, a person who can protect her and be there for her when she needs him. However, if you are absent every time she needs you, she has to be strong by herself,she needs to stand on her own feet and deal with difficulty by herself. She becomes strong, aggressive. As time goes by, man finds that the eyes that used to look at him with affection, now are full with disappointment, challenge and aggression.
Thirdly, a woman cannot go without love for a long time,this can turn her into a tigress. When she is down and calls you,you don't have the patience to listen to her; when Valentine Day comes, she wants go to see a movie with you, but you refuse her,leaving her sitting in the dark cinema looking at other couples;when she is ill, you only say that: “I am sorry, today I am busy, I can't take you to hospital, go there by yourself” over the phone. A woman who devotes her time, energy, love to the family, but what she gets is not your love, but your ignorance, complaints and misunderstanding, how can she not be crazy after all the unfair treatment she gets?
In conclusion, whether a woman resembles a cat or a tigress is a decision made by you. If you want to be with an elegant, mysterious, cat-like woman, then take good care of her and love her; if you want her to be an irritable, temperamental, tigress-like woman, then ignore her and do not take care of her as she deserves.
中文稿 女人是猫还是母老虎
当我问猫与母老虎的区别的时候，我朋友有点无奈地笑了一下，他回答道：“单身女人就是猫，而婚后的女人就是母老虎，婚前她帮我抓背，婚后变成了抓脸。”我朋友说他的妻子在婚前高贵优雅、温柔体贴，神秘难以猜透，就像一只猫一样，但是婚后，他的妻子渐渐地变成了随时随地对他河东狮吼、歇斯底里、神经而难以捉摸的母老虎。
听完朋友的答案，我不禁大笑，而后开始沉思，一个女人是不是在婚后会发生很大的改变。如果是的话，那么又是什么导致一个猫性女人变成一只母老虎的呢？
猫总是充满了神秘，野性，妖娆，非常具有女性柔性特质。一个深藏不露、飘忽不定、捉摸不透“三不”猫性女人是每个男人的梦中情人；然而，在中国文化中，母老虎是一种极度危险，残忍至极，凶猛彪悍的象征。一个像母老虎的女人让男人闻风丧胆，胆战心惊，避之不及。为什么女人在婚前婚后会有如此大的反差呢？从一只温顺的猫变成一只母老虎？
有人说猫跟老虎本来都是猫科动物，其实他们在本质上是一样的，老虎也叫做“大猫”。当一只小猫长大了之后，它就会自然而然的变成“大猫”。女人从一只可爱的小猫变成凶恶的母老虎只是遵循自然规律。但是我不同意他们的说法，虽然小猫跟“大猫”都是猫科动物，但是小猫永远都是小猫，老虎就是老虎。我认为女人婚前婚后的巨大变化不是必然的，而是由她跟自己另一半的关系导致的。让我向大家阐述一下女人是如何一步一步的从一个充满猫性的女人变成一只母老虎的。
第一，当一个女人结婚后，她的丈夫把家里所有的家务杂事推给她。大家想想，当一个女人结婚后，她变成了需要照顾别人的人，她不仅仅是一位妻子，而且是一位母亲，一个儿媳妇。她要应对复杂的家庭关系还有所有的家务。除此以外，她自己还一个职场职员。白天，她要上班，下班回来之后，一大堆家务等着她。在如此大的压力下，女人很容易发脾气，男人犯的小小的错误都可能成为他们吵架的导火线。家庭和工作的重压压得她喘不过气，把她逼成了一个暴躁易怒，歇斯底里的母老虎。
第二，婚后男人越来越不重视女人，当她需要你的时候，你总是不在她身边。女人希望她的另一半是她的骑士，可以在她需要他的时候站在她身边保护着她。但是如果每次当她需要你的时候，你都不在她身边，她就必须学会独立坚强，自我保护。渐渐的，男人会发现从前含情脉脉望着自己的双眼充满了失望，怨气以及进攻性。
第三，如果一个女人太久缺乏爱情的滋润，她也可能变成母老虎。当她心情低落给你打电话的时候，你不耐烦地敷衍；当情人节到来的时候，她想跟你一起看一场电影，但是你让她失望，她只得在电影院一个黑暗的角落默默羡慕别人成双成对；当她生病的时候，你只可以对她说：“对不起，今天我很忙，你自己去看病吧。”一个女人为了家庭奉献了她的时间精力和爱，但是她所得到的不是你更多的关心与爱，而是你的误解，忽视和抱怨，受到这样不公平的待遇，你说她怎么可能不变成一只母老虎呢？
总之，一个女人在婚后是性感温柔的猫性女人还是母老虎取决于她的另一半。如果一个男人想要高贵温柔，神秘的猫性女人，那么他必须好好爱他的女人；如果一个男人想要一个冲动易怒蛮横无理的母老虎的话，那么你继续无视冷落她吧。
演讲后续
其实在朋友抱怨自己的老婆经常对他河东狮吼像只母老虎的时候，我打趣地问他：“既然是母老虎，何不干脆离婚算了？”朋友眼睛骨碌一转，然后回答道：“我不能放虎归山啊。”
